Beautiful Disaster
by sethsduck17
Summary: history repeats itself in the SimpsonNelson home, but who's the guy? and will Emma go in her mothers footsteps or forge her own path? will her parents and friends stick my her or leave her stranded? COMPLETE
1. History Repeats Itself

Chapter One- History Repeats Itself

Xsparklespaz803X: just meet me ok?

16speakercar: emma…what do you want?

Xsparklespaz803X: jay…listen I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important ok?

16speakercar: your version of important is oh my god my hair won't match my outfits! stamps foot

Xsparklespaz803X: cute jay, cute rolls eyes and for your information hair can't match outfits. The park….10 minutes. Just do it, please

16speakercar: sigh you sure know how to beg…..fine

Ten minutes later Emma Nelson sat on the swings at Godfrey Park and pushed herself gently with her feet. Jay said he would be here…he said he would show up. She looked down at the ground and pushed her blonde hair out of her face.

"Alright what's so damn important that I had to drag myself out of my house for?" he asked skeptically as he approached.

Damn. Now that he was here…she had no idea what to say to him.

"Umm…what's up?" she asked lamely after a minute.

He looked at her. "Are you serious?"

She sighed. After their little thing at the ravine they had begun to hook up on a regular basis. And yes, she won't admit it to anyone, but Jay Hogart was also the first guy that she had sex with. Of course at that time she thought that they might have had something. Stupid girl, of course not. She was just something to pass the time. Alex and him ended up getting back together and Alex made it oh so perfectly clear that if she sees Emma in the same hallway as Jay then she'll kill her. They hadn't talked in two months…but it was time she thought Jay know what was really going on.

"Emma look I'm gonna go. If you dragged me out here for small talk…"

"No. Stay," she said getting up.

He turned back around. "Why?"

"Because it's time you know," she said eyes welling up with tears.

Now she had his attention. "Know what?"

"That one night like three months ago…"

"Em-"  
"No, let me finish. Well, you were my first…just like I told you. It was great and all…" Jay looked away clearly uncomfortable. "But it kind of fucked things up," she finished.

"Fucked things up?" he repeated not getting it.

"Yeah…."

He sighed and looked around the dark playground. She was really starting to freak him out.

"Emma just fucking say it already," he snapped.

"Fine! I'm pregnant!" she yelled back and then suddenly grew silent when she said that.

He stopped and just stared at her. "You're what?" he whispered.

She nodded. "Three months. I didn't know until last week. I just thought that I was getting fat…"

"You couldn't like get one of those tests or something?"

"I wasn't supposed to get my period until two weeks ago!" she shot back.

He took off his hat and dropped it on the ground. "So…you're sure?" he asked seriously.

She nodded. "I went to the doctors this afternoon and they said so."

"Fuck," he muttered.

"Tell me about it," she rolled her eyes. "I mean I'm not expecting you to like be with me or anything…I just thought you should know…" she said softly not wanting him to get the wrong idea.

"I know…"

She shrugged and turned to leave but he stopped her with his words.

"I'm gonna help you know. I mean it's my kid too…I can't just leave."

She turned back around, tears in her eyes. "Wow…that's…really decent of you," she said surprised.

"What you thought that I would just write it off?" he asked with a tinge of hurt in his voice.

"I wasn't sure. I mean I know that you have Alex and I would only be in the way of y'all…."

"Let me worry about Alex ok? I'll take care of that…but I'm going to be a father Emma. That's not exactly something that happens everyday."

"Alright…"

"So now what?" he asked as he sat down on a swing next to her.

She shrugged helplessly. "I have no idea."

"So you're sure…?"

"No I just look like Violet because I get immense kicks out of it," she said rolling her eyes.

He didn't say anything, just looked at the ground.

"Who knows?"

"Manny."

"So the whole school?" he asked skeptically.

"No. Manny," she snapped. "She remembers what it's like ok? She was pregnant too once…she knows it's not fun. I haven't told my mom yet though…"

"Or Simpson."

She let out a mirthless laugh. "Are you still in school?"

"Right," he sighed. Suddenly a thought entered his mind. "Are you sure it's mine?" he asked looking at her.

"Are you serious?" she asked sounding upset.

"What?"

"You think I would just make up that you're the father because I just want you to myself? You think that I'm just oh so in love with your disgusting style and rude personality that I couldn't bare to be apart? Yes how on earth did you figure me out? I'm just so attracted to your shitty attitude that I decided to sleep with some other guy just so I could get pregnant and say that you're the father. Damn, I should really work on my ideas huh?" she snapped as she got up and started to stalk away.

How dare he say that she would make this up! She hadn't slept with someone since him…in fact he was the only one in her whole 16 years that she had slept with. But apparently in his mind she's just too much of a slut to sleep with just one guy. In reality after she had done what she did with Jay she holed herself up in her room for days on end just crying her eyes out. She didn't know what had gotten into herself…she always said that she wanted her first time to be with someone special, someone that cared about her. Not someone who did this on a nightly basis for kicks. She had given it up to Jay Hogart…and he thought that she was bullshitting him. Serves her right, right?

"Emma!" he yelled as he got up and went after her.

"What?" she snapped, not turning around.

"I'm sorry ok?" he said sullenly.

She turned around, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't plan this ok Jay? You are the only person that I've slept with and you damn well know it. I don't know what I'm going to do, and I don't know what to expect either. All I know is that I'm pregnant and it's because of you. Not because of the milkman."

He dropped his gaze down to the ground.

"It's not all my fault you know. You were there too Emma. You wanted it too."

"I know that. Hello, I think I realize that. I didn't say you raped me," she said rolling her tear filled eyes.

"Well what are we going to do? I mean we have to tell your parents…"

"We?" she asked a little surprised.

His eyes darted around. "Well I'm not about to fuck this thing up before it even starts," he said softly.

She smiled. "Thanks Jay. I'm….surprised."

He shrugged self-consciously.

She looked at her watch. "Wow, it's kind of late…" she said in amazement as she looked at her bright pink watch on her wrist.

"Need a ride?"

"Sure…that would be nice," she said softly.

She smiled and followed him out to the car. The ride home was a silent one, and not just the comfortable silence that people just love. It was the uncomfortable, awkward silence that you couldn't wait to get out of. Emma scrambled out of the car as soon as it stopped outside her house and she started to run around to her window.

"Hey Nelson," he called after he softly.

She turned and looked at him. "I think it'll work out. I mean…everything. I'll…see you…tomorrow," he said awkwardly.

She smiled softly at his attempt to try to make her feel better. "Thanks. Yeah, tomorrow."

He drove away quietly and as soon as he was at the end of the street she heard the music turn on to a blaring level. Emma just rolled her eyes, crossed her arms over herself and headed towards her window. She hadn't expected Jay to want to help her out with this pregnancy…and the forever that came with it. She was surprised…in a good way. She crawled through her window quietly and shut it behind her as she crossed over to her bed. She threw off her jacket and plopped down on her mattress, staring at the ceiling.

"Well at least he claims he wants to help. How bad could it be? I mean I take care of Jack all the time…it shouldn't be that much harder…" Emma said to herself as she rolled over. Although she told herself that it wasn't going to be that hard, she knew in her heart that it was going to be painful and hard to bring that baby into this world at the age of 16. Just like her mother did.


	2. Now entering Hell

a/n: wow! I logged on to check what I thought was going to be like 3 or 4 reviews and here I am with 12! I can't even begin to say how happy you guys just made me! So yeah, you guys rock my sox end of story! Hehe. Read and review and leave some suggestions if you feel the need to! Nothing is not appreciated! - 3 nic

* * *

Chapter Two- Now Entering Hell…

"You told him?" Manny Santos asked that next day as she let her hair drop that she was twirling out of boredom.

Emma shrugged. "I mean he deserves to know right?"

Manny made a face and sighed. "Right…what did he do? Offer to teach it all the good places to steal from?"

Emma shook her head. "Actually, he said that he wanted to help."

Manny didn't say anything…just looked at her friend.

"I know! I'm surprised too! But he said he wanted to…and I think he meant it," Emma protested.

"Think who meant what?" JT Yorke asked as he came up behind them.

The two girls whipped around and darted nervous glances at each other.

"Umm…nothing," Emma said as she picked up her books. "I've got to go."

JT turned to see Emma run down the hall. "What was that about?" he asked as he opened his locker.

"Nothing. Girl stuff," Manny said offhand as she stood and waited for her friend.

JT just rolled his eyes. "Who does she like now and what did he say?"

"Everything isn't about boys you know."

"Oh you're right, I'm sorry. What earthly problem just charged into her life now? Is it the ozone? I bet it is…when she found out that they were knocking down all the trees on Youngs Ave, she totally flipped out."

Manny just gave him a look. "No, it's not about the ozone," she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. I hate girls," he sighed.

"Oh did Liberty try to get you to join a decathlon again?" Manny mocked. Liberty Van Zandt and JT Yorke had been an item since close to the end of last school year. Manny and Liberty were somewhat friends…but sometimes Liberty was just too damn smart. And she had no problems showing it.

"No," he said making a face at the beautiful Hispanic girl.

She laughed a little bit and then stopped when she saw their topic of conversation coming. "Well have fun with that," she said under her breath as she walked off as Liberty came up.

"What?" he asked confused as she ran off.

"Craig walked by," Liberty joked.

JT turned and rolled his eyes. "Liberty that was like two years ago or whatever…she's over it. As is the rest of the school."

"Not Ashley," she pointed out smugly.

"Well that's why Ash stayed in London instead of coming back."

"Hey dork, where's Emma?" Jay asked as he stopped by the two.

JT turned his wide eyes on the guy standing in front of him.

"Why do you want to know?" he snapped.

"None of your business. Now where is she?"

"I'll give you a hint…not the ravine. So you probably won't find her," JT said sarcastically.

JT had never liked Jay, especially not after he found that he broke Emma's heart. Emma was his best friend since they were in grade school together…all the sudden Jay Hogart thinks he can come in and break her heart and get away with it? Not going to happen. Then again, JT couldn't really do anything seeing as how Jay could flatten him in one swift punch, but he could still pretend.

Jay sighed and took a step closer to him. "Listen pump boy, where is she?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Liberty rolled her eyes at the nickname. "We don't know ok?" she said as she took JT's arm and walked around Jay.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I never took you for stupid Jay. A skipper yes, but I never doubted your intelligence. Should I?" Liberty asked as she turned to him.

"What the fuck is she talking about?"

JT shrugged. "I stopped asking."

Jay shook his head. "You really don't know?"

"Good to know your ears still work. Now if you excuse us, we have some extra credit to attend to," she said as she dragged JT down the hallway.

"We have what!" he cried as he stumbled after her.

* * *

Emma shut her eyes and leaned her head back against her book bag. It was a beautiful sunny day and she had taken her lunch outside by the steps and was leaning against them, soaking up the warmth. She had seen Jay today and they avoided each other as always. For some reason she hated that though. She wanted him to notice her, to make it known that she was alive or something. Deep down Emma still liked Jay…she just didn't want to admit that to herself. She was pregnant with his kid and he doesn't even talk to her at school…some guy huh? She smirked bitterly at the thought.

"What are you smiling at?" a deep voice asked.

She cracked an eye open to see Sean Cameron standing in front of her. "Nothing," she shrugged.

He raised an eyebrow at her and plopped down next to her. Ever since they talked on the beach in Wasaga they had gotten back on track with their friendship. He had only stayed there for three weeks before calling Jay and having him come bring him home.

"So what's up?" he asked as he opened up his lunch sack and took out some chips.

She smiled. "Nothing. You?"

He shook his head after stuffing his face with the salty, fatty food. Emma made a face at that. "God Sean that stuff is so nasty," she said rolling her eyes.

"So are alfalfa sprouts but you don't hear me complaining that you eat weird stringy food," he shot back.

Emma opened her mouth about to say something when a familiar red head crossed their path and stopped directly in front of them.

"Sean," she said in a tone that meant 'let's go'.

Emma just glared at her and then looked at Sean. Emma and Ellie had never gotten along. Ellie thought that Emma was too demanding and too prude. Then all that stuff at the ravine went down and she hated Emma for touching Jay. So now she was a demanding little slut who would steal her boyfriend. And Emma thought that Ellie was too depressed and tried to attract attention to herself. She thought she was always right, no matter what anyone else says.

"We were just talking," Emma said quietly.

Ellie rolled her eyes and grabbed Sean's hand.

"El," he started.

She whipped back around and stared at him. "What? You actually want to stay and talk to her? Fine, but do it without me. And hope you have fun tonight…alone," she spit out as she stalked away.

Sean sighed and looked back at his friend. Emma shrugged and tried to act as though she didn't care.

"Go. You'll just regret it if you don't."

"Sorry Em," he apologized as he ran off after her.

Emma watched and then looked down at her feet. She was alone…again.

* * *

"Emma is that you?" Spike called from the kitchen.

Emma dropped her bag on the stairs that led to the upper level and made her way into the kitchen where her mother was washing carrots for dinner. "Hey Mom," she said as she made her way to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"How was your day?"

Her daughter just shrugged and sat down at the table and started to munch on some chips.

"Emma! I'm making dinner!" Spike scolded shooting Emma a look.

Emma dropped her gaze but continued to eat. "Sorry…I'm just hungry."

"Eat a carrot. They're healthier…and besides I thought you hated chips."

"Well chips are what I want right now," she almost snapped.

Spike stopped what she was doing and looked at her daughter. "Excuse me, but you won't talk to me that way. I haven't said anything lately but…well you've been putting on a little bit of weight. And I mean that's fine sweetie, you could use some extra muscle…"

"You're calling me fat?" Emma's eyes welled up with tears.

"No! You're perfect!" her mother defended herself waving the knife in the air.

"Then what's your point?" Emma asked, her voice rising just a little bit.

"Emma…"

The girl just rolled her eyes and went downstairs. She collapsed on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Suddenly an overwhelming urge shot through her and she shot for her bathroom and threw up everything she had eaten that day and possibly before. She groaned and put her head against the seat. If this was what pregnancy would be like, she wanted no part in it! She stood, a little unsteady and made her way to the phone. She really didn't want to do this…but it was the only thing that could solve her problem. It went against everything she stood for and she knew she would get read the riot act but she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. She picked it up and punched in Manny's numbers.

"Hello?" came her friends voice.

"Manny? Umm…can you come over? I really need to talk to you."

"Em are you ok?" Manny asked concerned. She knew what it was like to be this way…to feel like you were all alone and everyone hated you. And right now was not the best time for it….

"Yeah, I think," Emma answered softly.

* * *

Jay looked down at Alex who was sound asleep on his chest. They were watching an old episode of 'That 70s Show' and Alex was completely wiped so she just dropped off to sleep. The audience was laughing at something Kelso had said or done but all Jay was aware of was how much he was going to hurt her. They had been together for five years…not counting that break they took. So after five years he had to tell her that Emma Nelson, the very girl that she wanted to die besides Amy, was pregnant with his child. She was going to rip him apart and enjoy every friggen minute of it. He sighed and played with her hair absentminded. He was rolling over ways to bring up the subject when she jerked a little bit and woke up.

"Jay?" she asked sleepily as she rolled over.

He stared at her. She was beautiful when she wasn't so preoccupied with being a hardass. He nodded silently and she sat up slowly. "What's going on?" she asked trying to get orientated.

"Nothing, you were sleeping."

"What time is it?"

"Five," he answered looking a clock.

She jumped up. "Holy shit I'm gonna be late, "she said as she ran around attempting to find all pieces of her uniform.

Jay tossed her his keys. "Get in a wreck and I'll kill you," he threatened.

She made a face. "Oh right…like you're going to notice a scratch on it," she muttered as she caught the flying sharp objects.

Just as she was flying out the door the phone rang and she stopped short, wanting to see who it was. All the sudden she dropped her stuff and stared at her boyfriend was getting up to get the phone.

"What?" he asked.

She glared at him and asked in a slow and deathly calm voice, "What the fuck is Nelson calling here for?"

He stared at her, eyes wide. _Fuck…I guess this is when the shit hits the fan…_ he thought to himself


	3. Miscommunications

a/n: alright here's the next installment of my story. I'm glad that y'all like this so much. As for the question asked by Unleashmysoul-they have a house phone as well that has caller ID so that's how she knew. This might not be the best chapter that I have so far because in the middle of it I had some writers block but I hope that I finished it ok. Read and Review!

Chapter Three- Miscommunications

"Why the hell did you call me?" Jay demanded as he swung through Emma's window. She looked up, surprised.

"Excuse me?"

"You called me!"

"Yeah….it's called a phone…" she rolled her eyes and turned back to her computer.

"Well Alex saw it."

Emma just shrugged and then turned to him. "Wait, what?"

He nodded his head. "She wanted to know why you were calling me. What the hell was I supposed to say there?" he asked as he started to pace.

"That I wanted a homework assignment!" she yelled.

Jay gave her a look.

"Yeah you're right…something about Jay and homework just don't go together," she mused to herself.

"Emma! Shut up already! I told her the only thing I knew-"

"You told her?"

"That we got partnered in MI," he cut in.

Her face dropped a little bit. "Oh. Well thank God she doesn't know the real truth," she sighed.

Jay shook his head. "She didn't buy it. It's Alex…you think that she bought that sorry ass excuse?"

Emma just looked down, realizing that he was right. "So…."

"So we're fucked."

The blonde rolled her eyes and did a little sarcastic dance in the chair that involved her wiggling her but and waving her arms in the air. "Yay…."

Jay just looked at the window he came in and she could tell that he was contemplating just walking out and forgetting the whole thing.

"She has to find out sooner or later," she pointed out quietly.

Jay averted his eyes. "I know. But how do I tell her that I fucked up and now you're pregnant?"

Emma sat back at that. Fucked up? At the time she didn't think of it like that. Granted they were both drunk and she thought she loved him but still. That was…just a colorful way of putting things. And yes it was a mistake that she got pregnant but it still hurt to hear him come out and say what he did. She was starting to think that maybe, just maybe if he continued to show his humane side that they could get along. And who knows, maybe even get involved. That last one was a long shot but it kept running through her mind…as much as she hated him.

"Well gee Jay why don't you just leave a note?" she snapped as she got up and walked upstairs.

His gaze followed her, perplexed, but he stayed where he was. An encounter with Spike and Simpson was not exactly on his list of fun things to do that night.

* * *

"A project! Can you fucking believe that!" Alex said angrily as she wiped down the counters with added vigor. Paige just watched her friend spazz out and quietly took the rag away and placed a bag of Gummi Bears in her hand instead. She took out a red one.

"This is Jay with Alex when he's not fucking with her." She thenbit off the head, leaving half of it's body. "This is Jay when he's with Alex when EMMA FUCKING NELSON CALLS OUR HOUSE!" she yelled.

"Alex!" Paige called out to her.

Alex whipped around to face her friend. "What?" she snapped.

"I get that you're pissed and stuff…but keep down the volume! You're a ten and I'm like two feet away from you. And FYI-Mary is 6," Paige said as she gestured in Merri's general direction.

Alex just scowled but lowered her volume. "Like I care if she hears me," she grumbles. "I just want to friggen rip his head off….."

"Well how do you know that it wasn't the truth?" Paige asked her.

Alex just gave her a look. "Jay doing an MI project? Are you joking?"

Suddenly Mary appeared before them and she did not look happy.

"Alex. If you can't keep your voice down and your language needs to be profanity free-"

"Fine, can I leave yet?" Alex asked boredly.

Paige's eyes widened at that. She had never heard Alex downright ask to quit pretty much. She turned to look at Mary and then looked at Alex.

"If you leave, don't come back," she snapped as she walked away.

Alex sighed and was about to walk out when Paige stepped in the way. "Alex, come on. You can't quit…I mean what are you gonna do for money?"

"There's other things out there Paige. Now move."

"Just…wait until you find another one or something. I know that you're pissed at Jay but come on. Is it worth losing your job over?"

Alex sighed and leaned back on the counter and looked at the ground. "You know it's bad when you start making sense," she muttered.

Paige smiled weakly. "That's what I've been told."

* * *

Sean opened the door and looked around the empty apartment. "Ellie?" he called out.

No answer. He opened the bedroom door and found it empty. He just stood there, unsure of what to do. Surely Ellie wouldn't leave him just because she saw him talking to Emma….would she? Suddenly she burst through the door, obviously not in her right mind.

"El?" he asked as he looked at her.

"Sean!" she said happily as she walked over and threw her arms around him.

He pulled away slightly and made a face. "Are you…drunk?"

She shook her head. "No! I was with Craig and we were at the Dot and…yeah I am," she suddenly admitted.

"Wait, you were Craig getting drunk?"

"So?" she said defensively. "You were talking with Emma…"

"I wasn't drinking with her! I was talking…"

Ellie jus snorted. "Right. Everybody knows what happens when Emma Nelson talks to a guy," she rolled her eyes.

Sean just sighed. "She's not like that ok? I know her, she was drunk or something when she did all that shit before…."

Ellie just looked at him and walked away. "Whatever Sean. Until you stop hanging out, or should I say whoring out, with your buddy Emma, don't fucking say anything to me about hanging out with Craig," she said as she slammed the bedroom door behind her.

Sean looked at the door, frustrated, and walked back out and slammed the door behind him. If Ellie was going to act like this and say shit about Emma that's obviously NOT true…then he didn't wanna be around to hear it. Now that he was outside he looked around, unsure of where to go now. He didn't feel like going to see Emma, that could just bring up more problems. He could go see Jay…and just shoot the shit. Yeah, right now that was the most appealing option of them all.

* * *

He opened the door to the worn down apartment. Jay had made him a copy of the key a while back.

"Jay?" he called out when he found the place empty. "Lex?" Again no one. He walked around to the kitchen and found their phone on the floor, the battery portion of it coming out. Obviously something had happened and someone threw the phone…Alex more than likely. Jay had this habit of doing stupid things and Alex found out about them. One time he got drunk with Manny and came home and told Alex about it…that didn't go over well either. So he just imagined what it was this time. He grabbed some chips out the cabinet and sat down the couch and just stared at the wall. He didn't feel like watching television at the moment.

Suddenly the door opened and Jay appeared.

"Hey," he said as he walked in. He had stopped being surprised to find Sean there after a month or so of him coming home from work finding him and Alex watching TV or something.

"What'd you do this time?" he asked as he looked over at him.

"What?"

"Alex threw the phone. What'd you do?"

Jay crossed his arms defensively. "Why do you think that I did something?"

Sean just laughed. "Because it's happened before man. Remember last year by any chance?"

Jay just looked away. Emma had called Sean up in Wasaga last year after they had hooked up in the ravine crying her eyes out. Sean had gotten pissed off that Jay had tried to corrupt Emma and called him up on it and bitched him out about how Emma was so much better than he was and he was just a fucked up loser that would take anyone down with him. They had gotten in a long argument over that one. It took some time but after a while, Sean had gotten over it and stopped looking at Jay like he was scum. He however, didn't know about them having sex several times. That would just tip the scales.

"Dude…."

"Forget it. Ancient history."

Jay just nodded. Of all the people that he hung out with, he trusted Sean the most. Sean was like his brother and he trusted him with his life. However what he wanted to say, might cost him his life.

"So where'd she go?" he asked as he looked back at the wall and Jay went into the kitchen.

"Alex?"

"No the Easter Bunny," Sean said sarcastically.

"Oh she left this morning. Something about leaving the eggs alone for too long….."

"You're gay you know that?"

Jay sighed as he sat down next to his friend and passed him a Coke. "That's why I hang out with you."

Sean just smirked.

"She had to go to work," Jay said after a minute.

"You pissed her off how?"

Jay took a deep breath. "Because Emma called."

Sean looked at him. "Emma?"

Sean was still protective of his friend, no matter what their history was. He cared for her deeply and would do anything for her. If Jay was messing around with her again….

"Yeah."

"Why'd she call?" he asked suspiciously.

"Oh, you know a MI project…." Jay said lamely.

Sean just shot him a look. "Man you and school are enemies don't bullshit me."

Jay looked down at his feet and put his drink on the coffee table. He took his hat off and scratched his head and then looked back at his friend and closed his eyes.

"She's pregnant."


	4. Death toll 1: Jay Hogart

Chapter Four- Death toll 1: Jay Hogart

Emma's eyes flew open as she was being shaken roughly.

"What the hell!" she yelled as the hands finally released her. Her vision orientated and she sat up, making sure she was properly covered. "Sean?" she asked confused.

Sure enough, there he was standing there looking completely pissed off as Jay finally came through the window.

"I have got to get that damn thing fixed…" she sighed as she turned her attention on Sean.

"So you did more besides the ravine huh?" he spat at her.

Her eyes grew wide. "What!"

"Oh yeah, Jay told me everything. Thanks for telling me that you were pregnant Emma!"

She looked at Jay who was sheepishly standing against the wall avoiding her glare.

"Sean, listen to me…."

"So what? Everyone was right? You are just a slut?"

Her eyes filled with tears. "Shut up!" she yelled at him. "You have no idea what I go through every day and then here you come back in my life. You defend me every damn day and I think 'oh good I finally found a friend that will believe me' because fuck, even Manny thinks I'm a damn slut! So don't you dare walk in here and accuse me of being a slut! You know me Sean, you know what I'm like. So you of all people should know that I'm not!" she hurled at him a tear falling down her cheek.

Jay just stared at her. He had never seen her fly off the handle like that. She was hurt and for the first time…she was showing it. Sean just looked at her like he didn't want to touch her anymore and walked out. Emma watched him go and then looked at Jay.

"Thanks," she got out before she collapsed back on her bed in a fit of tears.

Jay had no idea what to do…he was never good in the whole comforting area of the relationship. He stood awkwardly there for a minute and then walked slowly over to her bed and touched her back gently. She looked up tearfully at him and then looked away.

"What?" she sniffed.

"I'm sorry…." He said actually genuinely feeling bad.

"Whatever. You just had to tell him huh? Thanks Jay…thanks. The one person that was still remotely nice to me and you just decide to ruin that…"

He sat back at that. "I know," he said softly.

"Just go ok? I know you don't wanna stick around here anyways," she said as she rolled her eyes.

Jay just looked at her and got up slowly. He made his way out of the window and left the Simpson-Nelson house behind him…and Emma crying her eyes out because of him. For some reason he felt like shit now. Normally he could care less that he made people cry, half the time he found it funny. But for some reason when Emma did it, he felt two feet tall. Maybe it was because she was pregnant with his kid…he couldn't feel anything for her right? It was Emma Nelson, environmental crusader…she was everything he wasn't. She was sweet and nice and caring. He was an ass without an heart; or at least that's what the rest of Degrassi thought. He walked the rest of the way home in thought about Emma and what he was going to do when he realized that all the lights in his house were on. Great…now wouldn't this just be fun?

* * *

"Hello?" Manny's sleepy voice came through the receiver.

Emma took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was about to say this…it went against everything she stood for. She somehow found her voice and ventured shakily, "So what was your abortion like?"

"Em?" Manny asked as she sat straight up in her bed. She had never her friend sound like this. And for her to ask that question; something had to have happened. "What happened?"

Emma grew silent, the only sound Manny could her was Emma softly crying.

"Sean knows."

Manny took a deep breath. "And?"

"He called me a slut."

"Oh my God," she sighed. "Em, I'm sure he was just upset," she tried to consol.

"Well maybe I am. I mean hello, Jay Hogart! What was I thinking? He's been with like the entire school; how does that not make me a slut?"

"Because you only slept with one guy," Manny said firmly. Manny had the rep of the school slut a few years back and she had been through the whole school hating her. Emma had not though. And yes Manny admitted that she called her friend a slut at first too but then she thought it about it. This was Emma Nelson here. There had to be extreme circumstances surrounding what had happened and sure enough Manny had been right. Emma had gotten drunk for the first time and was at a party when Jay ran across her. She was the one who initiated everything and lead him upstairs. Of course once Emma had realized what she did she flipped out. Jay of course thought it was funny; seeing Greenpeace all drunk and horny. He had taken her up on her little offer no questions asked. The next day everyone knew that they had hooked up and made fun of Emma but within a week it was dropped. But now that she was with his child…it would go down in the history books for sure.

"Just tell me ok," the blonde urged quietly.

Manny was silent for a minute. "No."

"And why not?"

"Because you're better than that Emma. You've always said that abortion is wrong and you'll never get one…ever."

Now it was Emma's turn to be quiet. "That was before Jay. Ok Manny you have no idea…"

"Emma! I think I have an idea! Hello people don't call me the school slut for nothing! I ruined a relationship between two people. So don't talk to me about not knowing. If anyone doesn't know it's you. You think that you have problems because you're pregnant with Jay's kid? Try being pregnant with Craig's and then having it announced in the cafeteria by his ex-girlfriend, whose relationship I happened to ruin…by the way. At least Jay wasn't with anyone at the time ok? You got with a single guy. Yeah he's with Alex now but it's not like your having sex with him now are you? Exactly. So maybe it's you who has no idea," Manny took a deep breath after telling her friend off. All she heard was silence and then a shaky breath as the phone hung up.

* * *

Sean looked at Alex who was stalking around the apartment in fury. He had told her about Emma and that her wonderful boyfriend was the one responsible for it. Which could be argued a bad move…but he figured she should know and let's face it; he was pretty pissed off himself.

"So you're not just making shit up right? Emma Nelson is…fucking my boyfriend?" she asked through gritted teeth.

Sean just nodded. "And she's pregnant."

Alex stopped moving and just stared at him. He shook his head affirmatively and she just yelled. Suddenly the door started to open, bit by bit. Alex smirked when she saw that because she knew it was Jay. She shut her mouth and just leaned against the couch, arms crossed staring at the door. Sean looked back and forth between the door and the girl and contemplated leaving. He knew it was going to get ugly; he wasn't stupid. He stood up to go but Alex shot him a look and he sat back down. He knew better than to fuck with her…he had seen what she could do to people. The door continued to open inch by inch and he sighed.

"Are you afraid of your own house?" Alex called out.

"No…I'm afraid of you in my house…" he answered.

Sean stifled a laugh. Jay had no idea what was coming to him…

She stalked over to the door and pulled it open, and pulling Jay in as well. She glared at him as he looked up at her, feigning innocence.

"Quit the shit," she said quietly as she walked away.

He sighed and then saw Sean sitting there. "Gee, thanks buddy."

"Don't blame him. You're the one that should have opened your mouth 3 months ago!"

"I didn't know then! I've only known for a week!" he shot back.

She just snorted. "Right. So this girl is three months pregnant with your kid but you've only known for a week? For some reason I'm finding that hard to believe."

He sighed. "Look I was going to tell you ok? I was waiting for the right time…"

"Apparently Sean's time came before mine huh?"

Jay turned on Sean at that time. "Where the hell do you get off telling Alex?"

"Like you were going to," he said rolling his eyes.

"Fuck that it wasn't your business Sean! It's my fault and my problem. Not yours."

"Oh it became mine when it involved Emma!"

"You're not going out with her anymore buddy! You have Ellie! And I get that Emma is this princess to you on a shrine that can't be touched by anyone but you but get over that! Shit's gonna happen to her and you can't control it. Yes I got her pregnant. I wasn't with you," he said turning to Alex, "and it has nothing to do with you," he hurled at his best friend.

"Get out," Alex said quietly.

Jay whirled around to face his girlfriend. "What?"

"GET OUT!" she screamed.

"IT'S MY HOUSE!"

She laughed a mirthless laugh. "Not anymore."

He took a step towards her. "You wanna bet?" he challenged her.

Alex just smirked and looked at him. "What are you gonna do? Get me pregnant too?" He didn't say anything at that point. "Bitch," he breathed out looking away.

"Excuse me!" she snapped as she slapped him across the face.

Jay's head snapped the other way but he didn't do anything about it. He deserved that…he knew it. He looked back at her.

"I think you should leave."

She crossed her arms and looked at him smugly. "Apparently you don't know what get out means. Never took you for _that_ stupid."

"And apparently you don't know what it's my house means. Never took _you_ for that stupid," he said back.

Sean just watched the scene unfold from the couch. Jay wasn't exactly being the smart guy right about now. Alex was going to lay him out…

Alex just looked at him and punched him in the stomach. He wasn't expecting that he leaned over as the air got knocked out of him. After a minute or too he got back up.

"Maybe now you'll get the hint," she said.

"Maybe now you will," he hurled back as he rose his hand back.

She just looked at him, amused. "You wouldn't."

He just rose his eyebrow at him. "No?" he asked as he slapped her. "Now get this straight. It's my house. And Emma is pregnant…shit happens ok. I'm sorry but I can't take it back-"

All the sudden someone from behind took him out by throwing him to the ground and putting a knee in his back. Alex just stared at him in shock. In all the time that they had been together, he had never hit her. Never since they had known each other had she seen him hit another girl. She shook her head quickly, erasing the shock and slight look of fear from her eyes and crouched down to the ground. "Perhaps next time I say get out, you'll leave," she said as she got back up and stalked into the bathroom and slammed the door. The pressure relieved from his back and he rolled over slowly to see Sean standing there.

"What the hell dude?" he asked sorely.

"Don't hit her. Ever. And if you think you're staying with me, you're fucking delusional," he hissed as he got up and walked out, slamming the door as Alex did. Jay just sighed and put his head back on the floor. He took his hat off and threw it to the side of him in frustration. He had no girlfriend, no best friend, no house and tomorrow will be a blast at school now. That is…giving that he would find a place to sleep tonight…


	5. Friends and Condoms

Chapter Five- Friends and Condoms

Jay opened his eyes due to the blaring sunlight and swore as he moved. He had spent the night in his car and waking up with a joystick in your back is just not the best feeling in the world. He looked at the time, 8:30. Fuck now he was gonna be late. He rolled his eyes and drove to his house anyways. Alex would be gone by now and he could change.

"Hell why don't I just change the locks today?" he asked himself. Suddenly he stopped. "Why don't I?" he asked as though he were agreeing with himself. He pulled up and saw Sean's car there.

"Shit, "he muttered as the two people started to come out. Alex laughed at something as she got in and Sean sped past him and to school. Jay just looked after them. He hadn't seen Alex laugh in a long time. It was like a rare occasion; when she laughed. He used to be able to make her laugh…but that was ages ago. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and headed up to his apartment and walked in. Jay's clothes and what not were all in the living room on the floor. Apparently they wasted no time… He sighed and went over to pick something out to wear and then made his way into the bathroom and saw something there that just made him more pissed. A condom wrapper. And he had emptied the trash the day before…so the wrapper could only belong to one person.

"Fuck changing the locks…I got business at school now," he growled as he grabbed his keys and stalked out of the apartment.

* * *

"You look like hell Em," JT said as he came up to his friend that day at the lockers.

"Gee thanks JT. So glad that I can count on you to be honest," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"I'm just saying!"

"I know what you're saying…" she cut him off as Manny came up.

Her friend didn't say anything to her and avoided her gaze. "Hey JT."

He just nodded in her direction, not noticing that there was strain between the two friends.

"Hey Cause girl!" Alex shouted as she strolled up the hallway to her.

"What did you do now?" JT muttered as he moved aside. He knew better than to get in the middle of one of Alex's qualms. He had seen them; they weren't pretty.

Emma just sighed. She knew Alex knew, hell if Sean knew it was amazing the whole school didn't know yet or that they hadn't put up posters.

"What the fuck is your problem?"

"Excuse me?"

"Since when is it ok to fuck my boyfriend?" she said loudly and the hallways became deathly quiet and even JT was staring now. Manny was looking at the ground and Emma was stuck. She had no way out and no one to save her.

"Since I asked her out," a voice shot back and Emma whirled around to see Jay walking towards them. She almost cried she was so thankful that he was there.

"You did what?" Alex stopped mid rant.

Jay just nodded his head silently coming up behind Emma protectively. Sean came up behind Alex then and crossed his arms glaring at Emma and Jay.

"When did that little joyous occasion happen?" she asked lowly.

Emma shrugged and opened her mouth before Jay could. "About two weeks ago," she shot back.

Jay just smirked and Alex's eyes bulged out of her head and Sean looked like he was going to punch someone. "What the fuck dude?" Sean randomly yelled staring at Jay. He couldn't believe that Jay had asked Emma out while he was still with Alex. Now he had another reason to kick his ass.

"Don't you fucking start with me," Jay glared at his friend as Ellie came up on the crowd slowly and stood beside Jay.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked looking up at him confused.

"Ask your boyfriend."

Ellie turned to look at Sean who glared at Jay and then stepped back a step from Alex.

"Sean?"

"Jay got Emma pregnant. And he's been with her for two weeks…and didn't tell Alex," he snapped.

Ellie cocked her head at Jay and Emma slightly shook her head so that only Ellie could tell if she was looking.

"Jay?"

Jay just sighed. "Look ok yeah she's pregnant. But you know what, Alex might be pregnant soon too," she smiled at Alex and Sean and Sean blanched.

"What?" Emma and Ellie both asked confused.

"Oh yeah. Tell them about last night Cameron," he said smugly.

"What like when we kicked you out of your own damn house? It was pathetic," he snickered.

Jay just laughed humorlessly. "Oh no, not that part. I meant the part when you screwed Alex," he said simply and grinned.

"What the…." Alex trailed off confused as to how he knew.

"Clean your trash. And don't leave them in the open," he tipped them before taking Emma's hand and walking away leaving Ellie to tear Sean and Alex apart.

* * *

"You didn't have to do that," she said softly looking up at him.

He just shrugged and lit a cigarette. "You looked like you were going to be sick," he said by way of an explanation.

"And you would care why?" she laughed mirthlessly.

"Emma," he said looking at her.

The wind blew her blonde hair in her face but she didn't say anything. "We're not best friends, believe me I'm well aware of that fact. But we did have something-"

"The only thing we had was alcohol," she retorted.

He blew the smoke out of his mouth and sighed. "I didn't have sex with you because I was drunk," he confessed.

She snorted. "Oh yeah? And why did you then? I can't wait to hear this one."

"I did it because…." He looked at her face which showed how much she didn't believe him. "Forget it."

"No Jay, I really want to know."

"No you don't! You think I'm full of shit! You may think that no one knows what you're thinking Emma but you're such an open book it's not even funny. Stop being such bitch about being pregnant ok? Yeah so we fucked up and we're paying for it. Sing me another sad song. It's old," he said as he got up and threw down his cigarette. Emma just stared after him, mouth hanging slightly open. Jay had never confessed that to her before…or told her off. It made her think that maybe, just maybe he was right. Maybe she was blowing this whole thing out of proportion. After all, Jay said that he was going to help her with it right? And what did she do? Treated him like crap when he was just trying to be nice, which is something that she had no idea he was capable of. She sighed and got up from the steps and headed inside. The downside to being pregnant, besides the fact it was Jay's kid, was that she was hungry…all the damn time.

* * *

"I'm sorry," a voice said softly and tiredly that afternoon.

Emma looked up from her lunch and smiled a tiny smile. "It's ok. I feel bad that you found out that way," she offered up.

Ellie nodded and sat down. "So you're really pregnant?"

Emma nodded. "Mmhm. And it's just a blast and a half," she said rolling her eyes sarcastically. "But me and Jay aren't together. He was just saving my ass this morning that's all."

Ellie just nodded. "I can't believe that though. I mean it's Sean. I live with him…he knows more about me than anyone and he goes off with Alex. Alex! How fucked up is the world?" she said as she looked down.

Emma closed her magazine and stared at the girl. "Not that I mind that we're talking here…but why are you telling me this stuff? You hate me and think I'm the school slut," she pointed out.

Ellie just hung her head. "Yeah well I was talking to Jay earlier and he kinda…corrected me."

"Jay did what?"

"Stuck up for you…told me off. Whichever way you wanna look at it," she shrugged.

Emma nodded her head confused. "Ok…so what he's playing nice because I'm having his kid. Cute."

"Uh…he's playing nice because he likes you," Ellie said in a 'duh' fashion.

"What! He does not!"

Ellie rolled her eyes. "Right, I'm wrong. I've known him for a while now ok? I know what he's like and I know why he does certain things. Something's there's just like no hope for, but others…..he's just not that hard to read," she finished up.

"Why are you telling me all this?" Emma finally asked as she absorbed the information that Ellie told her.

"Because you're different," she said as she stood up to go.

"What?"

Ellie sighed and swiped the red hair out of her eyes. "You're different Emma. You're not like the other girls that he goes for and he's into you. And don't let this get out," she said leaning in close to the girl, "but I think you'd be good for him. Straighten him out or some shit."

Emma just watched the girl wave and walk out after that. _Ellie Nash just sat and talked to me. Like friends talk. She didn't call me a slut or anything...this day is turning out SO weird…_ she thought to herself as she gathered up her stuff and bought it to the front of the room. She stood in the hallway unsure of what to do now. Lunch wasn't over yet and she had nowhere else to go. Suddenly a sea of black passed in front of her and she made up her mind. She caught up to Jay and nonchalantly grabbed his hand and held it as she marched out of school with him. He looked over at her in surprise but didn't say anything. And didn't drop her hand as the two oddly matched people walked out of school together hand in hand. And oddly enough, it looked as though they were both completely comfortable with the situation.


	6. Walls come crumbling down

a/n: this is a note for all the people that read my story "flipped". i do have an update to make on that however, i left my disk at my friends house and have yet to go get it. so don't forget about it b/c sooner or later i will update it! but meanwhile, you can read this for your amusement. hehe

Chapter Six- Walls come crumbling down

Emma lay in bed that night and stared at the ceiling. This would be fifth night in a row that she could barely sleep. Her mind started to drift back to that afternoon when she had just ditched class to hang out with Jay. She rolled her eyes. What was wrong with her…skipping class to hang out with a person like him? Granted they actually had fun and talked and stuff…but still. They went to a park and just walked around. He dropped the little badass act and just talked to her like a normal person. He told her about his parents and she told him about her internet stalker way back in the day. A few hours later he had dropped her off at home and drove off into the sunset. Now here she was, sleepless with Jay Hogart on her mind. What was wrong with her? People like Jay aren't the kind of people that she should be thinking about! Suddenly she felt like her lunch was going to make an appearance so she ran to her bathroom that she thankfully had and emptied her stomach. She leaned against the toilet after and just put her head in her arms. She couldn't sleep, she was starting to get sick…and for some reason she wanted Cheetoes. She made a face…if this was being pregnant, she didn't like it! She jerked upright when a noise came from the other room, like something had been knocked over.

"What the hell was that?" she muttered to herself as she stood up slowly and looked around for something to grab in case this was a bad intruder. She settled on some shampoo, she would squirt it in whoever it was eyes. She opened the door slowly and a hand covered her mouth. She held up the bottle and made a move to squeeze it but something stopped her.

"Emma!"

She knew that voice. What the hell was that voice doing in her room at 2 am? She opened her eyes and saw Jay standing in front of her with a little smirk on him.

"What, are you gonna wash my hair for me?" he joked as he gently took the bottle from him.

"Jesus!" she yelled and hit him at the same time. "You scared the shit out of me!"

He shielded himself from her and backed away. "Sorry! But I just didn't think that ringing the doorbell was an option!"

She glared at him. "What are you doing here?"

He grinned what he hoped was an innocent smile. "Have I told you how cool you are lately Em?"

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Alex threw you out didn't she?"

He scowled and looked away.

"How the hell can she do that? It's your house!"

"I know! But they both have keys…the only way I can do it is if I get my locks changed."

Emma shook her head. "I can't believe that you have to change your locks so you can get back in your damn house."

"Yeah no shit," he said sitting down on her bed.

"So let me guess….you want to stay here?" she asked amused.

He attempted to give her puppy dog eyes. "I have nowhere else to go….." he trailed off trying his best to sound helpless.

She laughed. "Fine. But get off my bed…that's my area."

"Emma, we both know that we've slept together before…"

"Yeah and look what happened!" she yelled at him pointing to her stomach.

He winced. "So I take the floor then?"

She handed him a blanket and a pillow and crawled back into bed. "Pretty much."

He sighed and lied down. "Hey Emma?"

"What?"

"Thanks," he said quietly.

She grew quiet and smiled a small smile. For some reason she was able to drop off to sleep now with Jay there qausi-beside her. Like for some reason she couldn't sleep without knowing what was going to happen with them. But now he was here, sleeping on her floor. She looked back up at her ceiling and smiled and then dropped off to sleep.

* * *

"Emma!" a voice called down the stairs that next morning as the door opened.

Emma rolled over and her eyes twitched open. Jay….was there. Laying next to her….

She shoved him a little and he woke up slowly.

"What?" he asked groggily.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" she hissed at him.

He looked around. "Oh. I got lonely?" he asked a little smile coming across his face.

Footsteps came down the stairs slowly and he didn't realize it until Emma shoved him out of the bed.

"What the-"

"Em, who's down here?" Spike asked.

Jay's eyes grew wide and he flattened himself against the floor.

"No one…" Emma said getting out of bed.

Spike just raised an eyebrow at her and crossed her arms as if she knew she were lying. Jay quietly found his shirt and shoes and threw them on over his jeans he slept in. He stood up slowly.

"Sorry Spike. I was giving her a ride to school…I didn't know she'd still be asleep," he said offering a smile to her.

"Why are you a-giving her a ride and b-in her room? Most people knock on the door Jay," she said. Spike never quite forgave the boy for messing up her daughters life the previous year. She had no idea that they had gotten together after that either.

"Mom, all my friends come through my window. And it's my fault that I wasn't up," Emma said trying to get her mom out of her room.

"Fine. Then why were you beside her bed?"

The two froze for a second and then Jay leaned down quickly. "Dropped the hat," he said sheepishly and jammed it on his head.

Spike just looked at the two of them. "Both of us upstairs. Now," she said retreating.

Emma just sighed and got out of bed. "Great. What the hell were you doing?" she asked glaring at him.

He shrugged. "I'm sorry! I'm used to sleeping with someone…."

Emma suddenly put her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom leaving Jay standing there. He followed and found her throwing up in the toilet.

"You ok?" he asked as he leaned against the door jam a little uncomfortably.

She nodded. "Benefits of being pregnant huh?"

He walked in the door a little bit and found a washcloth hanging up and handed it to her. "Here."

"Thanks," she said quietly taking it from him. She got up and sighed. "Guess it's time to face the music?"

He nodded and touched her arm softly.

"Hey I'm going under it too you know."

She glanced surprisingly at his hand on her arm and then looked back at him. She took a step closer to him and his hand slid down to her waist slowly.

"Emma! Jay! NOW!"

Jay looked up the stairs, the spell broken and sighed. He put his arm gingerly around Emma. "You ok?" he asked again.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes Jay I'm fine. And why are you so concerned?" she asked as she followed him.

"Emma," he said in a no nonsense tone.

She averted her eyes. "Right."

* * *

Jay slammed the door to his car and leaned his head back against the seat. So much for Emma being the girl he thought she was. Spike and Snake grilling them both and she just kept her mouth shut. Even when they started firing questions at him and he tried to ask for help, nothing. If that's how Emma Nelson expected to get through life she was sorely mistaken. He started the car and turned the music up loud to drown out any lasting thoughts of her and peeled away from the curb to go to school. The worst thing about the whole ordeal though, was that at the end Spike asked him why he was talking to her daughter now all the sudden and he opted for the truth. He told them both that he liked her and he thought that she liked him too. Instead she just avoided their glare and got up and just stalked downstairs slamming the door behind her. Perhaps he was wrong then? But, they had almost kissed downstairs, so he knew there was something there right?

"Whatever. If she wants to fuck around with me, she can do it later. I'm tired of her shit," he muttered. This would be the last time Emma Nelson would enter his thoughts as a relationship prospect. He was stupid for even thinking that way in the first place. He had it made with Alex and he gave it all up for a girl that couldn't even acknowledge his existence. Well that was over now.

* * *

"And you just sat there? You didn't do anything?"

Emma shook her head and looked down. "I didn't say anything."

"Emma! What the hell is wrong with you!" the redhead jarred her by shaking her arm.

Over the past few days Ellie and Emma had begun to hang out sometimes as friends do. Ellie knew that Emma liked Jay; even though Emma never said anything about it. She didn't have to.

"Ellie!" she said sharply taking her arm back.

"Sorry. It's just…I know you like him Em! And we all know he likes you…so I don't get it. What's the deal?"

Emma sighed. If only she knew what was going on inside of her, she would tell her friend. But the truth was that she was so messed up it wasn't even funny. She liked Jay…a lot. But the practical side of her told her that earlier that had only gotten her in some serious shit and not to go there again. She felt like she was arguing with herself all the time and let's be serious, it was exhausting.

"Hello…" Manny called waving her hand in front of her friends face.

"What?"

"You were like…all dazed out there for a second," Manny said glancing at Ellie. Manny never really got why the two of them were hanging out and she didn't exactly like the way that Ellie knew things that only she knew about Emma. Or at least she thought only she knew. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing," she replied shaking her head to rid herself of the daydream.

Ellie just sighed. "She likes Jay and pretty much didn't do shit about it when her parent yelled at them both this morning after finding him in her bedroom."

"Emma likes Jay? Oh yeah right. Just because she's pregnant with his kid, doesn't meant that she likes him ok? Listen Ellie, I know her a hell of a lot better than you do and trust me, she would have told me," Manny said smugly crossing her arms.

"She didn't tell me. She didn't have to. And a real friend would see how obvious it is…"

Emma toned them out for the umpteenth time as the droned on and on. Suddenly something caught her eye at the end of the hallway. It was Jay. Emma smiled a little bit hoping that she could talk to him. She took a step towards him and then saw who he had with him. Tricia Metcalf. Tricia was in 12 grade and she was…experienced. She cast her eyes upon Emma and rolled them as she realized that she was staring at them. Jay also looked at her but it was fleeting as he grabbed Tricia and kissed her hard right in front of Emma. He smirked and then walked on down the hall with his arm around her. Emma eyes grew cloudy. How stupid could she have been? She thought that Jay Hogart actually wanted to be with her and liked her? What a joke that was! Apparently girls like Tricia were more his speed anyways. And besides, it's not like she liked him back right? But if that was the case then why did she feel as though she couldn't move for the life of her. She finally found her legs and ran off the bathroom to clear her head, leaving her two friends behind that were just staring at her. Manny was looking after Jay confused and Ellie had a satisfied smirk on her face.

"When I say that Emma likes Jay, I mean that Emma likes Jay. Believe me yet?" she asked as she pushed past and walked in the direction that Emma went.


	7. Free Falling

Chapter Seven- Free Falling

Jay sat on the hood of his car, beer in hand, arm around the latest whore. Him and Tricia were long over and he had now moved on to his latest flavor of his week, Amy. And yes that would be the same Amy that had helped to break him and Alex up. But right now he didn't care. He wanted something and she knew what it was and was willing to give it. Ever since that whole thing happened with Emma he hadn't looked at her or even talked to her. That was a month or two ago. He glanced her way in class the other day and saw that she was happily chatting away with Manny and JT. He didn't know how she was doing and he didn't care…or at least that's what he told himself. He felt a tug on his ever present black jacket and turned to the girl who was sitting next to him and kissed her hard on the mouth like he knew she wanted. She started to get feisty and up on him and he reciprocated but it wasn't the same. Yeah it felt good but then again, what guy didn't want to be laid? Amy pulled on his hand and tried to get him to move into the van for some fun that she wanted and thought was well deserved. At first Jay got up and followed her but then for some reason he just stopped.

"Jay…come on…." She whined looking back at him.

He just looked at her. She was nice and all…when she wasn't drunk or stoned. Oh and if you were on her good side too. He slowly started to shake his head and she stared at him in disbelief.

"You have one horny ass girl standing here who will make your fantasies come true and you're turning down sex?" she asked laughing.

He didn't say anything and just turned around.

"Jay!" Amy called after him for a minute.

Jay ignored her and just kept walking back to his car and got in and drove off. As soon as he was out of sight of the ravine he parked in the parking lot of an old K-Mart and turned off the car. He sat there for a few minutes, head leaned back against the headrest. Deep down he knew why he couldn't do anything with those girls. Hell, most of those people probably knew too. Ever since he had hooked up with Emma Nelson, he hadn't been back to that van. Not after finding out that he got her pregnant. He promised her that he'd be there for her, what a crock of shit. Because he sure as hell wasn't being there for her now in that damn empty parking lot. He knew that he liked her…hell he probably loved her. Because he liked Alex a whole hell of a lot and he still fucked around with other girls when he was with her. He looked out the window and stared off into the night. He hated himself for the shit he was pulling and what he was feeling. He knew he was being an ass…but the problem was that for the most part he just didn't really care most of the time. With that thought he fired his car back up and headed for the place that most people called home. He himself called it the second stage of Hell.

* * *

"So do you know what it is yet?" Manny asked over the phone that night. Emma dug her spoon into her chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and smiled slightly.

"No I don't, not yet. I find out next week."

"Oh my God I can't believe that. I mean it seems like just yesterday you were running around in the park with a water gun…" she mused aloud sounding very much like a mother.

"Umm…Manny yesterday I was running around with a water gun," Emma pointed out.

"Oh. Well do you have any names picked out?"

"It's hard you know? I mean there's no way in hell I'm naming my kid after Jay. So I'm thinking maybe Michael or Christopher for a boy." Emma sat down on her bed and propped her feet up on her bed stand.

"Well what if it's a girl?"

"Mom keeps telling me to name it Kirsten or something," she said shrugging.

"So how is your mom taking this whole thing anyways?"  
Emma sighed. "Well, it goes back and forth. Sometimes it's like she's excited. Others it's like she's disgusted with me about it. I have no idea where she stands in this whole thing…"

"Well no offense but can you blame her? I mean she had you when she was your age and now here you are in the same predicament."

"Yeah I guess," Emma said softly licking her dripping spoon. She didn't really like to talk about what her mother was feeling about her pregnancy…mostly because she didn't know. Silence ensued on the line for a short time.

"So…have you heard from Jay?"

"Yeah, good one," Emma snorted. "Jay helping me and being here with me and for me? What Jay Hogart does and says are two completely different things."

"So he's still being…Jay?"

"To say the least. I mean, I can't believe that I'm pregnant with his kid…that we actually talked long enough to have sex together," she said bitterly.  
Now it was Manny's turn to be silent. "Umm…Em, we all know that you liked him."

"What? I did not," she replied indignantly.

"Right. That's why when you see him with a different girl you almost cry right? Because you don't care and he doesn't matter?"

"I'm not talking about this."

Manny's voice softened. "Hun, you just have to admit it ok? Because it's eating you up inside."

"How would you know?" Emma rolled her eyes.

"Because I was there too," she said matter of factly. "You don't think Craig promised me the moon and then acted like a gentlemen do you? Because he didn't. He avoided me like I was the black plague."

"I do," Emma whispered.

"What?"

Emma's eyes shown with tears. "I do like him ok? I really do. And I thought that he meant it when he said that he would be here and help me…I really thought…" she trailed off.

"I know you did," Manny replied. That was all that needed to be said. She understood and that's all Emma needed to hear.

* * *

Emma shut her locker the next day and came face to face with Alex. She sighed. "What now?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "How long have you and Jay been fucking?" she asked bluntly.

Emma laughed lightly. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"Ok well I missed the part where that's your business," she said starting to walk away.

"Well I didn't. Because I was still with him," she bit back putting her arm up on the locker so Emma was semi-trapped.

"Why do you care anyways? You have Sean and isn't he just your dreamboat?" she asked batting her eyelashes.

"Don't make me hit you Blondie. And just answer the question."

Emma cocked her head. "Why?"

Alex glared at her. "You'll be sorry," she muttered as she walked away.

"We haven't been," Emma called to her back.

Alex stopped. "What?"

"We haven't been. We also haven't looked at each other, talked to each other or breathed at each other in the last two months," Emma slung her messenger bag over her head and sighed. "Happy?"

"Very," Alex replied turning on her heel and walking away.

"You're welcome!" Emma called to her and received no acknowledgement.

* * *

He unlocked his car and was about to get in when he felt an arm snake around his waist. Thinking it was Amy, he grabbed her hand and brushed it off.

"Where you going?" asked a voice that was definitely not Amy's.

He turned around to see Alex standing there. "What the hell do you want?"

She shrugged. "I just wanted to talk…."

"Sean left you didn't he?" he asked with a smirk as he leaned against his car.

The raven haired girl scowled. "We're not talking about him."

Jay just chuckled as he took that for a yes. "So…where are you going?" she asked again.

He cocked his head at her and studied his ex. "Why are you interested all the sudden?"

"Because…I thought-"

"Alex we're not doing this again ok?" he said breaking her thoughts.

She smiled a smartass smirk at him. "Like I'd take you back asshole. I meant we can be civil…you know like in friends…"

"Alex wants to be friends?" he asked.

She shot him a look. "Yes Alex wants to be friends. They're these strange people that hang around you and you talk to them and who knows, you might even laugh or smile. But you know that's like advanced friendships…" she said sarcastically.

He rolled his eyes. "Get in."

She smiled a little bit at him. "Thanks," she said softly. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Emma walk through the doors and she suddenly reached up and kissed him softly, taking him by complete surprise. He pulled back immediately.

"Alex, maybe you don't know what going there again means…." He said and then followed her stare to the school door. There stood Emma looking like her world had just been crushed. And once again he had caused it.

"Emma…" he said as he started towards her. She just shook her head and ran inside. Jay sighed and turned back to Alex.

"What the fuck was that for!"

"Oops?" she grinned and shrugged. She walked over to him and patted him gently on the shoulder. "Oh and by the way, I don't need that ride after all."

* * *

It seemed like Emma Nelson was living in the bathroom these days. With the morning sickness and the random crying that she did, she felt like she could start moving her stuff in here and no one would even bat an eye. As it was there were already four people in there as she burst in and locked herself in a stall. She sat on the seat and rocked back and forth trying not to cry. She was going to do it today too…tell Jay how she really felt. After all this time she was finally ready. And what happens? She sees him sucking Alex's face off. It only figures though. I mean they were together in the first place, why not get back together. _Oh wait, I know why…because you're supposed to like me!_ Her thoughts screamed. She sighed and wiped her eyes and exited the stall. But you know what, this was fine. This was more than fine actually. If he wanted to be an asshole to her than she would make him regret it.

She swung open the doors with a look of determination on her face. She scanned the crowd quickly before setting her eyes on Spinner Mason. He was just recently admitted back into school and no girl would touch him with a ten foot pole. It was perfect; and what was better was that him and Jay were somewhat friends. She saw Jay enter the hallway and head for her so she stalked right over to Spinner and whispered something in his ear. He looked at her uncertainly and she nodded with a smile on her face. He nodded slowly and put his arm around her started to walk away, not even looking back at Jay who had seen the whole thing. He was just standing there in the middle of the hallway staring after them. He couldn't believe that Emma would go after Spinner like that. And what the hell was he doing? Some fucking friend he was…. Jay sighed aggravated and kicked a nearby locker and then walked outside. He needed to get away. And right now maybe a drink wouldn't be too bad either…

a/n: sorry that this chapter isn't the best but i felt like i had to update for y'all...expect jemma soon...finally right? lol. but thank you soooo much for reviewing this story as much as you guys have, you have no idea what it means to me! oh and go read "my finest hour" too...because i absolutely love that story and think that people should go read it and love it with me. hehe ) it's all about the jemmaness


	8. Let me fall

Chapter Eight- Collide

Emma wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled up at him. It wasn't genuine but it looked like it was. In her mind, if this relationship was going to look realistic then she had to act the part. Sure Spinner knew this thing was just a fling to make Jay jealous but there was no harm in having some fun too. He leaned down and kissed her lips softly and she smiled. He was no Jay, that was sure, but he was a guy. And he did have a small idea, although it wasn't the same, about what she was going through.

"So this is just to make Jay jealous?" he asked hesitantly.

She nodded. "Yeah. That's totally horrible I know…" she trailed off.

Spinner just shrugged. "Yeah, but then again it's Jay. Sometimes you have to hit him over the head with a brick."

Emma smiled slightly and nodded. "I'm sorry that I'm like…using you or whatever…."

Spinner rolled his eyes. "Emma, I knew that you were going to from the minute you told me. But you know what, you're someone to talk to and hell, let's face it. You're pretty cute," he kidded as he nudged her.

"Shut up," she said hitting him back.

Suddenly Jay came through the doors and headed for his car and spotted them together. He stopped short when he saw their smiles and his arms around her neck and she twisted around to give him a kiss. Jay just glowered and put on his sunglasses so it wouldn't be that noticeable how pissed and hurt that he was. He got into his car and slammed the door shut and turned up the music loud and peeled out. Spinner smiled.

"Damn you must have that boy hooked."

She shook her head. "Oh no, he's back with Alex again. Isn't that just the sweetest," she said sarcastically rolling her eyes.

"Well then he's an idiot."

Emma smiled slightly. Spinner was a nice guy when he wanted to be sure, but she never knew he was going to be…this nice. As in almost hitting on her. That was an unexpected twist of events. They stayed for a few more minutes before he took her home and she ran through the front door with a wave. She leaned against the door and had a small smile on her face.

"You look awfully happy," her mother commented sticking her head out of the kitchen to see her daughter.

"I was hanging out with Spinner," she said.

"Spinner huh? Is that the new guy now or something?"

"What?"

"Well it's been a while since you've gone out with anyone and it's been a while since I've seen you with that smile on your face. So is Spinner the new boyfriend?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Something like that," she said as she grabbed a bag of carrots and a bottle of ranch dressing.

"So next week is the big unveiling," Spike said conversationally.

Emma just nodded.

"So is Jay going to be there?"

She sighed. "No Mom, he's not."

Spike remained silent and kept her eyes on the magazine she was reading. Emma knew that look. She knew what was running around her mind right now.

"Look Mom, yeah this is his kid. But you know, it's his loss. He's missing something incredible ok? And I have a great guy now whose willing to stand by me and help me. Yeah it's not the father but so what? Jay is supposed to be the good father I get that ok? But he never will be, he'll never be that kind of guy," she snapped as she got up and headed downstairs.

"Em-"

She was cut off by the slamming of the door. She sighed and looked around the kitchen.

* * *

Jay looked up as the door slammed. Emma stamped down the stairs, obviously not in a good mood but he was already here and comfortable. She stopped short when she saw him and glared.

"Oh this is just great!" she snarled rolling her eyes.

"Chill out Greenpeace. I just came to talk."

"Oh and where's Alex because I just know that she's thrilled that you're here with me right now."

He shrugged. "Like I care what Alex thinks. That bitch set me up ok? She came up to me saying that she wants to be friends and that she needed a ride. Next think I know she's fucking kissing me!"

She stared at him. "Why are you explaining yourself to me?" she asked softly.

He stopped. "Because it's the truth."

"Well gee Jay you've haven't even looked at me in like two months and now you're sitting here in my room explaining why you were kissing Alex. How about why you were fucking Amy and the other girls?" she crossed her arms and glared at him.

He sighed. "Whatever ok? I said I was sorry. Sorry if that's not good enough for you," he said getting up.

"Well why are you here?"

He turned back to her. "I already told you."

"Noo…I mean why bother? I thought that you hated me or some shit. Like I fucked up your life," she said softly.

"Emma…you know you didn't do that," he said as he took a step closer to her. "You just flaked on your family that one day when I was up there getting the third degree and acted like I was just a guy to you and I didn't mean anything. And I thought that maybe I did. So that's my fault for assuming."

"I was scared," she mumbled.

"Of?"

She sighed. "Yeah you get to see Simpson and deal with him at school. I have to live with him and my mom. And you don't get to see the looks that give me or the talks that I have to endure. Sorry for not wanting to get sent away to a convent!" she said raising her voice.

"For saying that you like me?" he shouted back.

"No! For saying that for once I was happy with a guy and he made me feel alive and dare I say it, that I might even love…him," she stopped herself as she realized what she just said out loud. "I think I'm gonna be sick," she said running to the bathroom. Jay stood rooted to the spot and stared after her. Did he hear her right? He followed her to the bathroom and sat up on the sink.

"Why are you still here?" she mumbled.

He shrugged. "Well…did you just say that you love me?" he asked half teasingly, half serious.

She hung her head deeper into the toilet. "That was just a bad dream."

He shook his head and jumped down and squatted down next to her. "No, it wasn't," he said quietly looking in her eyes. She had tears in her eyes and they dangerously close to falling. His eyes softened at that. She laughed slightly and rolled her eyes.

"God I am such a girl!"

"Generally I consider that a good thing," he remarked as he helped her up slowly.

She looked away.

"Talk to me Jay," she whispered.

"I thought I was…"

"No!" she shook her head. "I mean really talk to me…what's going on up there?" she tapped his hat.

He smiled softly at that and sat down on her bed. "Well I was an ass for a while, I know that. But seeing you with another guy…" he sighed.

She looked over at him. Was he jealous? Jay Hogart being jealous over Spinner Mason…well actually that was what she wanted. But she had no idea it only take a day!

"Spinner."

He nodded. "Yeah, Spinner. It…it just drove me nuts," he said looking up at her at the last part.

She just looked at him straight in the eyes and for once saw no bullshit. She sat down next to him. "No bullshit?"

"No bullshit."

"So…" she trailed off. She knew that he liked her, he just told her more or less. But she actually wanted to hear him say it for once in his life.

He took a deep breath and swallowed. Emma never knew it was this hard for someone to confess that they liked each other. She must have missed something in her life or something.

"Emma…I think…I think I love you," he said not looking at her.

Her jaw dropped. "What?"

He looked up at her then. "I think I'm falling in love with you," he said more firmly.

Suddenly she was crying and just looking at him. She never expected that to happen at all. But now that he confessed that not only did he like but he was falling in love with her, maybe for once her life could get back on track. And this time it would be with the guy that she wanted it to be with.

He reached over and wiped away one of her tears with surprising gentleness. She flinched and raised an eyebrow at her, not moving away.

"I'm not going to hit you," he said somewhat amused.

"I just…I'm not used to-"

He cut her off by pressing his lips firmly against hers. For the first time in six months she kissed back and all the emotion and feelings she had pent up came out in that one kiss.

He pulled back.

"Damn…" was all he could say.

She smiled softly. "Is that a good damn or a bad damn?"

He just smirked. "No such thing as a bad damn after kissing you," he said as he went in and kissed her again. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. They were so wrapped up in kissing each other that the didn't hear the person beside them. Jay pulled away and looked up, expecting to find Spike or Simpson but it was Manny. And she had the biggest grin on her face.

"The way she was grinning, you'd think I kissed her," he remarked rolling off her and grabbing his hat.

"Shut up," she retorted hitting him.

"So are y'all like….together?" Manny asked still standing there.

They looked at each other and Emma smiled.

"Yeah," she said with a grin.

"About damn time!" Manny cried plopping down next to him in the bed.

Emma reached over and grabbed his hat and put in on her own head.

"Excuse you," he said reaching for it.

"Huh-uh. I'm the girlfriend…I'm the pregnant girlfriend. I get dibs on the hat," she said holding it onto her head.

"What?"  
She just smirked and kissed him lightly. "Think of it as tough love."

"Tough love my ass…." He grumbled but he let her have it.

_The dawn is breaking  
__A light shining through  
__You're barely waking  
__And I'm tangled up in you  
__  
Yeah  
__But I'm open, you're closed  
__Where I follow, you'll go  
__I worry I won't see your face  
__Light up again_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
__Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
__I somehow find, you and I collide_

_I'm quiet, you know  
__You make a first impression  
__I've found I'm scared to know  
__I'm always on your mind_

_Don't stop here  
__I've lost my place  
__I'm close behind_

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
__Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
__Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
__You finally find, you and I collide  
__You finally find  
__You and I collide  
__You finally find  
__You and I collide_

a/n: I don't own the song "Collide" by Howie Day but I love it and it makes me think of Jemma every time I hear it. And I just couldn't help but update already, had the yearning. Lol, plus y'all gave me a push! So yay for reviews!


	9. Just another manic Monday

Chapter Nine- Just another manic Monday

Emma leaned in and kissed him as she smirked.

"What?" he mumbled as he pulled back.

"You taste like syrup," she teased.

He had come over that morning to give her a ride to school and she had been eating her waffles. He stole one and now she wasn't going to let him forget it.

He rolled his eyes and stopped the car as she looked around.

"Couldn't find a spot further away huh?" she asked teasingly yet confused.

He shrugged. "Need the exercise," he said as he got out.

She shot him a look. Jay Hogart saying he needed exercise? Uhh…who was this guy and what did he do with her boyfriend? She pulled on her bag and chased after him for an explanation.

"Excuse me?"

He lit up a cigarette and turned to her. "What?" he asked innocently.

She made a face. "You know I don't like it when you smoke," she said quietly.

Jay just shrugged. "So walk away?"

"What is wrong with you?"

He sighed and turned to face the blonde, one hand on her hip with a look of pure exasperation on her face.

"What are you talking about?" Play it dumb. Yeah, that was the road to go.

"Oh I think you know. First you kiss me and then you act like I'm a disease!"

He arched an eyebrow at her. "I'm not treating you like you're a disease…"

"Exercise? Bullshit Jay ok? Bullshit. And smoking in front of me? When I'm pregnant with your kid? Smooth Hogart, really. A for effort," she snapped as she stalked past him.

"Emma!" he called after her.

She just waved a hand in the air behind her without turning around. "Don't even bother. Talk to me when you've grown up."

He rolled his eyes at her and took a drag off his cigarette. Count on her to blow things way the hell out of proportion. And now since he knocked her up…she was just going to get bitchier and bitchier.

"Fucking women," he muttered to himself as he started to walk towards the school.

* * *

"Where's Jay?" Ellie asked as she approached her friend at her locker. Emma shrugged bitterly.

"Smoking, being an asshole…take your pick."

"What happened?" Ellie rolled her eyes.

"Nothing. Jay's just…being Jay. But I guess I have to get used to it right?"

"Or he could," her friend pointed out.

Emma looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"Why should you get used to him? I mean he's the one that knocked you up, said he loved you, wants to spend the night at your place…I say he should get used to you," Ellie said shrugging.

"Who should do what?" Manny asked as she approached putting on her lip gloss as she did.

"Jay needs to get his head out of his ass," the red head filled the other girl in.

"Ok…."

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head, blonde hair flying. "Don't ask. Please…just don't ask."

The three girls tittered a little bit at that as a shadow started to from over he locker. From the form of it, slim figure, hair down, hand on hip, sneakers, Emma knew exactly who it was. "Didn't know Satan had shadows," she mumbled before she turned around.

"Excuse you?" Alex said rudely.

"If I wanted you to hear it, I would have said it louder," Emma said bluntly.

"And if I wanted you to fuck my boyfriend, I would have just thrown him at you. We all do things we shouldn't," Alex said smiling sweetly yet jabbing at the blonde.

"I can't tell you how much I love these little chats that we have but is there a point to all this?" Emma asked as she shut her locker and leaned against glancing at her two friends.

"Nope. Just wanted to make sure you know you're still a slut, a fucking fat one at that too," she smirked as she glanced at her protruding stomach before stalking off.

"Lame?" Manny asked as she raised her eyebrow.

"Lame," Ellie replied rolling her eyes.

The three girls walked into their classroom and settled down in their seats, Emma turned to ignore Jay who was glaring at her. JT and Liberty came in holding hands as usual and sat down in front of her. Liberty tossed her brown hair over her shoulder and turned to her old friend.

"Hey Em, not to be rude or anything…"

"What Liberty?" she groaned.

"Well, you know Raditch won't let you stay here once everyone knows you're pregnant. I mean well, everyone already knows…but now that you're starting to show…"

"It's not that bad," Ellie said trying to reassure Emma who was looking down at her desk.

"Au contraire. I, and many other people, could tell that she's….larger than usual," Liberty said glancing at her stomach.

"Why are you doing this?" Manny asked.

"Because it's the rules."

"Riiight. Well how come when I got pregnant, you didn't do this shit?" she leaned forward on her desk waiting for answer.

"Nobody knew….plus let's face it Manny. We knew you wouldn't go through with it," she said turning around obviously ending the conversation.

Manny jumped up at that remark and was about to round the desk to have some serious face time with her old friend with Mrs. Kwan walked in.

"Manny take your seat please," she said motioning toward the chair that was pushed back about five feet.

"Oh my God this is so not over," Manny growled under her breath.

"Just ignore it."

"Em! She's going to get you kicked out of this school! I'm not going to just sit here and watch you go because you're pregnant!"

"Well it's my own fault right?" Emma said rhetorically as she looked down at the paper on her desk.

"No!" Manny cried.

Mrs. Kwan looked up at her sharply and Manny ducked her head. "It's not just you hun. Jay had a major part in it as well."

Emma snuck a glance at him to find him leaning his chair back against the wall and sleeping.

"Oh yeah, there's a keeper," she smirked.

Manny just looked at her. "You love him."

"That's the problem," Emma rolled her eyes with a smile

* * *

"So why aren't you hanging all over little Ms. Do-Good? I mean you are together…" Alex said as she plopped down next to him at lunch.

He looked over at her through his sunglasses and snorted. "And why aren't you fucking my best friend? I mean since that's what you do best…"

She just rolled her eyes. "Jay come on. We're too old for this shit."

"We're 17 Alex."

"Exactly. We're going to be graduating…you're going to be…..a father…."

"Do you have a point or do you just like hearing yourself talk?" he asked bluntly.

"I want to be friends."

"And I want to date Britney Spears but you don't see that happening," he laughed out loud.

She punched his arm. "Seriously Jay!"

He looked around and sighed. "Why? After all the shit that happened this year, why?"

"I dunno. I mean you were always the one guy that I could count on…"

He got up suddenly. "Save your shit Alex. I've heard it way too much," he said as he started to walk away.

"Ask yourself this; if I'm going out with Emma Nelson, then why is Emma hanging out an awful lot with Craig Manning?" she smirked.

"Because for some Godforsaken reason they're friends. What else?" he asked boredly.

Alex kept her mouth shut for once and said nothing. "Great, glad to hear it," Jay snapped at her and walked off. Emma and Craig. Whatever. They were just friends…hell they grew up together. It was natural for them to hang out…

* * *

"So do you know what you're having?"

Emma shook her head.

"You knew and you didn't say anything?" Manny yelled at her.

The others around her winced at her volume but looked at Emma for an answer. "I just wanted to surprise you guys."

"Great. We're surprised. Now it's time for this…" Craig said pulling out a book.

Manny rolled her eyes. "Oh great. The infamous baby book. Make sure Ashley isn't around…"

Craig just rolled his eyes and tugged on her arm for her to sit down.

"Alright so what is it?"

Emma just smiled. "It's a girl."

"Oh my God! You're having a girl! That's awesome," Manny cheered.

Even Ellie looked happy. "I would hug you…but you know…"

"Right. You have this weird aversion to it," Emma nodded jokingly.

"Moving right along," Craig said opening the book to a random letter. "How do you feel about…Sunshine?" he laughed.

"I am not naming my daughter Sunshine!" Emma laughed.

"Daisey?"

"Barbie?" Ellie joked.

Emma swatted at her friend. "Seriously guys! We need a good name."

"I got it," Craig spoke up.

The all looked at him expectantly. "Darlene."

Manny and Ellie started cracking up and Emma just stared at him. "Darlene?" she asked wondering if he was serious or not.

He stood up and walked over to her. "Yes Darlene. You love that name don't you little one? We can call you Dar-Dar for short," he was now cooing at her stomach with his hand over it.

"Jar Jar Binx!" the two other girls nearly fell off the bench from laughing so hard and Emma was trying hard not to.

"Craig…." Emma was trying to say something but was just talking away and calling it Dar Dar which eventually made Emma join the other two and start laughing.

Jay stood in the doorway watching them all laugh as Craig caressed Emma's stomach. His Emma. His baby. Craig Manning was touching his child. To hell with all this. If she was going to let Craig touch her…maybe he should let him as well. As he turned to leave he caught site of the baby book on the table. They were picking out baby names. Emma hadn't even told him yet what they were having and they were picking out baby names. Wasn't that something that THEY should be doing? Together? Yet here he was by the door, left out of everything; including what's going on with his child.


	10. For Real

Chapter 10- For Real

Jay stood in front of his mirror and sighed. He looked around aimlessly for a minute before looking back at his reflection. Running his hand through his dark brown hair, he made an obscene gesture to the mirror and grabbed his school bag and headed for his car. Hand on the doorknob, the door flew open and he jumped back.

"Jay!"

Jay sighed inwardly and looked around before looking back at her. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked quietly.

"Going to bed…." She said making her way towards the room.

"No smoking this time Rae!" he called after her. Rachel Hogart. All the shit that she got herself into, her mother taught her before she ran off to British Columbia that made more money than she could ever imagine. Her only departing words were, "Jay be a good boy and pass the Jack." That was three years ago and now here he is with his older sister and still taking care of, what felt like, his mother. He loved her dearly and when she was sober, she was great. But more often than not she wasn't. And this wasn't the first time he was going out when she was coming in. A loud crash from the bedroom made him flinch but he swore silently and started to move towards the door. It was only a few minutes later that he got concerned. On a normal day, a loud crash was followed by a long string of loud profanity…but silence? Never. He dropped his bag and quickly made his way to her room and pushed open the door.

"Rae?" he called. Looking around, he finally found her on the floor. It looked as though she had tripped over the chest that was the foot of her bed. Because there she was on the floor, foot twisted awkwardly, strawberry blonde hair covering her unconscious face. From the past, and his past as well, he knew that he had to at least roll her over. He slowly made his way over to her and started to pick her up when she woke up.

"Jay?"

"What?"

"Where are we?"

"Rachel cut the shit ok? You know where we are. Stop coming home at 8 in the God damn morning!" he said as he dumped her in bed and stalked towards the door.

"I think I twisted my ankle," she said sounding pitiful.

"There's bandage in the cabinet. Wrap it up, put some ice on it and stay in bed. Maybe get a bucket for your hangover," he said as he shut her door forcefully.

Fuck. Now he was going to be late. He ran to his car and sped the fifteen minutes to school but just like promised, he was late. And being late meant getting a detention.

"I'm telling you it was family problems!" he argued with the secretary.

She just sized him up. "How nice. Today at 3. I assume you know where it is," she said as she wrote him a pass to class.

"I assume you're frigid as hell but hey fuck you too!" he muttered to himself as he started to class.

"Jay!"

"What Alex?" he snapped as he turned around. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with her right now. For the first time in his life, he just wanted to get to class and stay there.

"What the hell happened to you?" she asked in disbelief.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Fall into the Gap lately?" she asked sarcastically.

He sighed. He had forgotten his little plan today. If the kind of guy Emma wanted was the person that Craig or one of her other little nerdy buddies were fine, he could be that guy. As long as she acknowledged him.

"It's nothing ok?"

"This is soo not you," she said as she started to walk in a circle around him sizing him up.

"People change. Now move."

"Apparently just on the outside. Still same old dick on the inside," she smirked as she walked off, swaying her ass in front of him.

"Yeah and you're still a fucked up hag on both fronts," he called after her.

She stopped in mid step and turned back around and gave him the finger before stalking off in typical Alex style.

"Why the fuck did I do this?" he muttered to himself. There he was, standing in the middle of the hallway in a red t-shirt that quasi showed off what he had and a pair of old jeans that remarkably still fit. He looked just like any other kid at school…and for him that was strange in itself. He never changed for anyone, they could suck his dick for all he cared. So what the hell was he doing this for? For Emma? So he could be snubbed again? Fuck that. He was about to turn around and head back out and just skip school all together when the bell sounded and people started to flow out of their classrooms. He quickly made his way towards Emma's locker…it was now or never.

* * *

"I really think I like Rachel," Emma said thoughtfully.

"Rachel Michelle," Ellie answered as they rounded the corner.

"Rachel Michelle Nelson. Has a ring Em," Manny agreed nodding her head.

A slow smile started to show on her face. "I'm having a baby. And her name is Rachel….oh my God I'm going to have a daughter!" she said in excitement as Manny squealed with her. Ellie just made a face.

"You've been pregnant for like five months now…are you just realizing this?" she asked skeptically.

"No! It's just…now she has a name. And my two best friends named her," she said smiling at them.

"I don't do mushy by the way," Ellie put in as they came up the hallway to their lockers.

"Well anything is better than Jar Jar…I mean Darlene," Manny said starting to snicker again.

Emma nodded her head and then noticed that she was walking alone.

"Uh…guys?" she looked back at them.

"Who is that? And why is he standing at your locker?" Manny asked raising an eyebrow.

Ellie just smirked. After all the years that she had been around Jay already, she could tell it was him by the way his body leaned against the locker.

"Down girl. It's Jay."

"Pssh…whatever. Jay only wears black, remember?" Manny asked sarcastically.

"I'll prove it's him then," Ellie said as she stalked up to him with Emma and Manny trailing behind her.

"It is you know," Emma hissed.

"What? How do you know?" her best friend shot her a confused look.

"Look at him! Who else shoves his hands in his pockets and looks like he wants to die while still looking so damn good leaning against a locker?" she smiled.

Manny just stared at her and rolled her eyes. Emma had lost it. It was official.

"What do you want?" Ellie demanded.

"Lay off El. I'm here for Emma."

"Yeah that's great. Now again, what do you want?"

Emma laid a hand on her friends arm and pushed her aside gently.

"What?" she asked quietly.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure…talk."

"Alone smartass."

Emma raised an eyebrow. "Take it or leave it Hogart."

He just sighed. "What is wrong with you? You tell me you love me and then you pull this shit," he said getting agitated.

"My it seems familiar doesn't it…"Emma said as she cocked her head at him.

"Don't do that," he said quietly.

"Do what?"

"Act all pious. You're not. You're Emma and I'm Jay. We're going out. And we're going to have a kid together, which by the way is not going to be named Darlene. Over my dead body."

"How do you know…."

"I'm not stupid Emma," was all he would say.

"Fine. You want to be together…"

"I thought we were."

"Then act it," she said stalking off. Suddenly she turned around. "And what are you wearing?"

He shook his head annoyed. "Forget that. I thought…"

"You look good," she said simply looking at him.

He raised his blue eyes and stared into her brown ones and knew it was going to be ok. As cheesy as that sounds, he knew that whatever had happened between them was over. He caught up and grabbed her hand, leaving Ellie and Manny behind.

"So you like it huh?" he asked in her ear.

She stifled a laugh. "If you dressed like that last year….we might already have the kid by now," she said flirting.

"Oh really?" he asked laughing.

She shrugged looking innocent. He pulled on her hand to stop her and she looked at him confused. He brushed her blonde hair out of her eyes and just stared at her.

"What?"

Jay just shrugged. "Just looking."

"In the middle of the hallway?"

"No…doing this in the middle of the hallway," he said as he leaned in and kissed her square on the mouth taking her by surprise. She broke it off and smiled happily.

"I'm sorry Em…"

She put a hand over her mouth. "Don't. You'll ruin it."

* * *

"Rachel Michelle."

Jay just looked at her like she lost her mind. "Excuse me?"

"That's our daughters name."

He shook his head no.

"Why not? It's a nice name!"

"I'm not naming my child Rachel."

"Why not?" she asked defiantly.

He did the traditional Jay sigh and was about to tell her about his sister but decided against it. "Because."

"Because isn't an answer," she shot back.

He made a face. "Oh thanks mom," he retorted.

"Fine! What do you want to name her?"

"We're having a girl?" he asked pretending her didn't know.

She stopped then realizing that he had no idea. "Yes. We are."

"And I didn't know this why?"

She shrugged. "You weren't around."

"Emma I was-"

"Jay."

He just glared at her. Fine. He would shut up and take that, he deserved it anyways. "What about…Samantha?"

She looked at him in surprise. "Samantha?"

"Well…Sam. But yeah. And why are you looking at me like that?" he asked drawing back.

"I just never….expected you to say that. Anna Nicole, yes. Samantha, no."

"I'm not always a skeaze you know," he said in a 'duh' fashion.

"Well yeah but-"  
"So do you like it or not?"

She bit her lip. "Samantha Michelle Nelson…"

"What!"

She looked up in surprise.

"Hello…my kid!" he cried.

"In case you haven't noticed….it's mine too!" she said pointing to her stomach.

"Why does it have to have your last name?" he whined.

"Because!"

"Because isn't an answer," he mimicked her from earlier as she shot him a dark glare.

"Samantha Michelle Nelson-Hogart….."

He cocked his head. He hand never thought of combining their names before… She looked at him for confirmation.

He smiled. "It's perfect."

She smiled back and looked down at the table and drew in a big deep breath preparing for the battle she was about to fight. "Why not Rachel?" she asked quietly.

"Because I'm not naming my daughter after my fucked up life," he answered simply.

"What?" she asked. He has lost her.

"My sister, her name is Rachel. And my mother taught her everything she knows…it seems like I'm still taking care of her instead of my sister. Who should be taking care of me…not that I need taking care of. Because I don't," he said firmly.

"Wasn't going to disagree. So what's she like? I mean I never knew you had-"

"You never asked," he cut her off looking at her. He wasn't mad, he was just stating the fact.

She nodded her head. "I know. But I am now."

"You really wanna know about my life and my sister?"

Emma just shrugged. "Well if she's going to be part of my life-"

"She's not."

"If she's going to be part of my life then yes I do," she continued as though Jay had never broken in. "I don't know anything about your home life. Yet you seem to know so much about mine."

He shrugged. "Not much there."

"Jay…"

"After I so graciously got kicked out of my own fucking place by my ex I had to move back into my old house. I didn't feel like fighting. Alex can pay the fucking rent and shit like that. See what I care. My dad covers the house so I don't have to worry about anything."

"Your dad?"

"He's not around. And you're not going to meet him so don't ask," he said getting up.

She looked up confused, "Where are we going?"

"You said you wanted to know more about my sister…."

"So?"

"Well let's go. She should still be in bed, if she's not then it's her own damn fault that her ankle will look like a grapefruit," he muttered.

She shot him a questioning look but he just brushed her off.

"Don't worry about it," he said as she got up and followed him to his car.


	11. The blowout part one

A/N: wow. i am soooo sorry that i like put this story on the back burner. i was actually living in FL for a while but now i'm home and determined to do this. b/c this story is my baby. so dont' give up on me! i will finish it...i promise. again, sorry for waiting so damn long and thank you for the people that stuck with me! muchas loooove to y'all

* * *

Chapter 11- The Blowout part one

Jay pulled up to a stereotypical blue house with a front porch and shut off the car.

"Umm…where are we?" Emma asked confused.

"My house," he said as he got out.

"What?"  
He shot an amused look at her. "Not what you expected huh?"

She shook her head slowly. "Not at all."

"Trailer?"

She grew kind of red in the face and looked down as he shrugged. "Hey most people think that. I figure why not let them. Rachel?" he called out as they entered the house. Getting no answer Jay threw his keys down on the table and started towards the back room leaving Emma in the living area. She walked around slowly, admiring the photos from when Jay was younger. He was a happy child she realized with surprise. In almost every photo he was smiling or doing something goofy. She came to one that must have been taken when Jay was fifteen or so, she guessed with his blonde hair, and looked over an attractive girl standing next to him, about to push his face in some birthday cake. She laughed lowly to herself. She had never seen him that happy…what happened?

"What's so funny?"

She turned around to smile at him. "Cute photos Jay."

He smiled softly as he came up to the one that she was looking at. "I still haven't gotten her back for that."

"So what happened?"

He looked at her.

"I mean you used to be so happy. I've never seen you smile so much!"

Jay just shoved his hands in his pocket and looked away uncomfortably as a door down the hall opened.

"Jay?"

"What are you doing?" he walked towards her. "I thought I told you to stay in bed."

She made a face. "Well gee Dad I'm sorry. I thought I was allowed to go the bathroom and feed myself but apparently I was wrong. Is a grounding in order here?" she mocked.

"I hope you fucking leg breaks," he muttered as Emma laughed behind him at Rachel's comment.

"Who's the chick?" Rachel asked sitting gingerly back down on the bed.

Jay took a deep breath. "This is Emma. She's…my girlfriend."

Emma offered a smile but quickly retracted it as Rachel started to laugh. "Girlfriend? You?"

"I'm sorry…did I miss something?" Emma spoke up, hurt and a little confused.

"Jay never brings home girlfriends. Girls, yes. Friends, yes. Girlfriend, no."

"I brought home Alex," he defended himself.

Rachel just rolled her eyes. "Oops, must have slipped my mind," she said sarcastically.

"Anyway, she wanted to come meet you. So you met her, we're leaving now," Jay said as he grabbed Emma's hand and started dragging her to the front door.

"So how far along is she?"

They both stopped dead and stared at the girl who was leaning against the door frame.

"Excuse me?" Emma finally got out.

Jay shot her a look but his sister ignored it and kept going. "Well that's cute that Jay's calling you his girlfriend and all…but I'm betting he's only doing it for one reason. You're pregnant and he doesn't want you to get hurt. Isn't that right baby brother?"

Emma's eyes filled with tears slowly as she stood there and listened to Jay's sister go on and Jay was growing visibly uncomfortable and angry.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about ok?" he snapped at her.

"So how many beers did you have to give her before she touched you?" Rachel shot back as Emma tore out of the house. She collapsed on the stairs, sobbing her eyes out. She knew that people thought of her a slut now because she had screwed up with Jay and was now pregnant but no one had ever been that out right about their feelings. And to be honest…it stung. A lot. She could hear Jay and Rachel inside arguing but she didn't care. She wanted to get the hell out of there, as fast as she could. She got up and started to walk down the driveway as the door slammed shut and Jay came outside, visibly pissed off now. She just looked at him as he approached her.

"Are you getting in or what?" he asked as he opened the car.

Silently, she walked around and got in as Jay peeled out, music blaring. He lit up a cigarette and started huffing away. Emma's stomach lurched but she didn't say anything. After he actually made the effort to stop smoking for her sake, she figured out that he only chain smoked now when he was angry. So once in a while, she let it slide. Slide…much like her stomach was doing as he drove fast and the smoke infiltrated the car.

"Jay it's ok, I'm fine," she said softly as he pulled up to her house.

He rolled his eyes. "It's not fine Emma. My sister just called you a slut to your face and it's fine? I don't think so. Plus she involved my father because she can't fucking walk around the damn house," he said anger seeping into every word.

"Wait, what?" she said confused.

He just shook his head and kissed her quick and hard. "I'll just see you later ok?"

She nodded slowly as she got out and he drove away. She watched the car go and then turned to go inside but instead found JT sitting there.

"JT…hi."

He just looked at her and got up, shaking his head.

"Hello…JT?" she asked as she moved in his way."

"What?" he asked.

"You're the one sitting at my house," she pointed out.

He sighed and looked down. "I needed to see that she was lying."

"Excuse me?"

"Liberty. She said you were pregnant. And it was Jay's kid. I thought she was lying. I mean she was talking about you. I've known you forever Em. I thought you were better than this…" he said as he started to walk away.

"So that's it? You're going to disown me now because I'm pregnant? Did it occur to you JT that I don't want to be pregnant? That I didn't ask for any of this? And that now, more than ever, I actually need my friends?" she asked, her voice wavering.

He stayed silent, just looking at her.

"Fine. You know what, go. If you're going to stand there and be a little shit about this instead of being the JT that I know you can be then fine. I don't want you around. A real friend wouldn't care," she said softly as she turned to go. A hand caught her arm and she turned back around to see him standing there. She didn't say anything and waited for him to speak. Instead he brushed the hair out of her eyes and just looked at her, again.

"Ok, you're kind of starting to freak me out here JT. What are you doing? I think I liked you better when you were yelling at me," Emma said nervously.  
JT cast his eyes down at the sidewalk and then just took a step in and kissed her. On the lips. And it wasn't a peck either. She pushed him away, surprise written all over her features.

"What the fuck are you doing!" she yelled at him.

"We've been friends our whole life Em. And for Jay to come in and fuck it up like this…it's not right. This whole thing ruined your life! And I just wanted to say…I'm here for you."

She looked at him like he was insane. "What about Liberty?"

He shook his head. "It's not really working out anyway. You know she gets really demanding and bitchy?" he asked taking another step towards Emma as she backed up.

"Gee that's a shame. 'Cause you see, Jay didn't ruin my life. I love him. And we're going out. The end."

"He doesn't know you like I do!" JT said clasping onto her arm.

"Let go!" she yelled at him.

He dropped her arm and just stared at her.

"JT, you're one of my oldest friends. You're like a brother to me and besides Manny I think you're one of the closest friends I have. But if you think I'm going to dump Jay for you…." She shook her head as she walked inside. JT stood there for a second, watching her go.

"He doesn't deserve you…" he mumbled as he walked away.

* * *

"Hold up, he did what?" Manny asked as she lied upside down on Emma's bed. 

"I know," Emma groaned.

"Well…what did you do?"

She shrugged. "Told him to shove off. I can't believe he said that Jay ruined my life!"

As if on cue, her phone started to ring and she jumped up to answer it. She made a face at the unknown number and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, is this Emma?"

"Who is this?" she asked, putting a hand on her hip.

Manny sat up in the bed and looked at her confused. "Who is it?"

Emma just shrugged.

"Mike Hogart. Jayson's father."

Emma almost dropped the phone out of surprise. "How…how do you know who I am?"

"My daughter told me what happened this afternoon. I'm in town to help take care of her while her ankle heals," he explained.

"Ok…well how did you get my number?"

"Rachel gave it to me."

Manny was practically going nuts on the bed waving her arms for Emma to answer her question about who she was talking to.

"Well what can I do for you Mr. Hogart?" she asked, directly looking at Manny who almost fell off the bed.

"Jay's father?"

Emma nodded and Manny scooted over so Emma could sit down and she could hear the conversation as well.

"Please, call me Mike. And I was wondering if you would possibly like to get together for coffee. I mean if you are bringing in my grandchild, I figure I should try and get to know you right?" he laughed slightly as Emma chuckled uncomfortably.

"Emma….don't do it! Jay would freak out!" Manny hissed.

"Does Jay know that you're here?" Emma asked suddenly.

The man on the other line sighed heavily. "He has an idea but he hasn't been home since this afternoon. If he finds out I'm here, he'd probably sleep on the streets then come inside. But what do you say about meeting? I'd love to meet the girl that tamed my son," he joked.

Emma looked around helplessly, ignoring Manny who was vehemently shaking her head no, and then a gleam came into her eye and she looked straight at Manny. She grabbed her arm and answered the man. "I might be able to. What time?"

Manny looked at her arm and then at her friend and her eyes grew huge.

"Sure, see you then," she said as she hung up the phone and closed her eyes, waiting for the explosion.

"Are you insane? Agreeing to meet with him? Jay would have your head for this and you know it! And you're seriously dragging me into this…why would you do that? Have I betrayed you lately? Because I've been keeping track and I think I've been a golden child lately-"

"Will you just suck it up already?" Emma asked her finally.

Manny shut her mouth and glared at her. "You're the devil and I hate you," she muttered.

Emma put her arms around her friend. "And that's why you're my best friend. Now come on, we have to go."

"I'm your best friend because I thought you were smart! You made me look good!" Manny called up to her friend, getting no response she groaned and followed her.

* * *

"So where's Emma?" 

Jay turned around and saw Spinner standing there with a towel over his shoulder and he shrugged.

"Did you guys have another fight?" he asked shaking his head.

Jay made a face. "No we didn't have another fight. Nothing happened. She's at her house. I'm here. We don't live with each other," he said defensively.

Spinner held up his hands up in the air. "Woah, chill dude. I was just asking. Spazz," he joked as he went back to work.

"Whatever, I'm out," Jay called over to him.

Spinner just raised a hand in acknowledgement as he took some dishes to the back. He stepped out into the air and walked over to his car. He was bored. He didn't want to go home and he figured he'd let Emma have some Emma time. He reluctantly got into his car and started it up, driving to somewhere he didn't know yet. Fifteen minutes later he passed a Starbucks and a blonde walking in with a brunette. He slowed down as he recognized Emma and the reluctant Manny. They walked over to a table with an older man seated there and he got up and shook hands with them.

"What the hell?" he mumbled, confused.

The man came around and pulled out the chair for Emma and Jay got a good look at his facial structure and stopped dead in the middle of the street. There was only one man who looked like that and would be meeting his girlfriend. And now he knew why Manny looked so uncomfortable. He set his jaw and backed up, once again in the middle of the street, and pulled into a parking spot.

"So Emma, tell me about yourself," Mike said congenially as the two girls sat down.

Emma cleared her throat nervously. "Well I go to Degrassi Community School, I'm a junior, I live with my family and generally I'm a vegetarian," the words just came out of her mouth with her having no idea of what she was saying.

Manny was just looking at her, trying not to laugh.

"And you're her best friend right?" he asked turning to Manny.

Manny nodded. "Yeah, I'm Manny. And…Jay has no idea you're here?"

Mike shook his head. "I think my daughter said something this afternoon but no, he has no idea I'm physically here."

Manny just nodded, not wanting to get involved with matters that weren't her own. Whenever that happened in the past…things just got worse.

"So how long have you and my son been dating?"

Emma shrugged. "I think about two months…"

"Now I hope you don't mind me being so forthright, but you've only been dating two months and you're pregnant?"

Emma just sighed. "It's a long story…"

"One of which you have no business of knowing," a voice laced with bitterness and anger came from behind them.

"Jay," Emma started.


	12. The blowout part two

Chapter 12- The Blowout part Two

Mike stood up, ready to greet his son but Jay sidestepped him and glared at Emma. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Emma looked up at him. "Excuse me?"

"We're leaving," he said looking at Manny and then at Emma.  
Manny stood up without hesitation, she had a feeling something would happen…hell from the beginning she told Emma not to come.

"Jay, come on. We're just talking; nothing harmful," Emma said placing a hand on his arm.

Jay glared at her. "I told you that you weren't going to meet him. That nothing would happen with him. And what do you do?"

"I called her," Mike spoke up.

"Oh I bet you did," Jay said nastily over his shoulder. "Just couldn't wait to fuck things up huh? Had to get your hands in whatever I have?"

"Jay! Stop it ok? He's your father. I mean I didn't go look for him! We're at Starbucks and I have Manny. Nothing is going to happen."

He just shook his head and backed away. "Doesn't matter. You know I fucking hate him. And you should have never come here in the first place. You know that Rachel can walk as well as I do. Don't give me that 'helping my family out' bullshit. If you really wanted to help us out, you wouldn't have left!" Jay yelled, letting out a little bit of pent up rage. He caught himself quickly and muttered something to himself before glaring at Emma again and then walking out.

Emma looked as if she were going to cry as she slumped back down onto the stool.

"I can…" Mike cleared his throat. "I can take you home," he said softly, avoiding the girls eyes.

Emma just shook her head. "I'd rather walk. But thanks anyway," she said as she slowly made her way past him with Manny.

* * *

Rachel looked up as the door slammed open and then shut. Her darling brother was home…and apparently he found out about Dad. Sure enough, not even two minute later he was in the doorway to her bedroom.

"What gives you the right to go through my shit-"

"What are you talking about?" she asked boredly.

He glared at her. "Santa Clause. What the fuck do you think I'm talking about?" he yelled at her.

She glared at him and shrugged her shoulders. "If I knew what you were yelling about would I ask?" she retorted.

He took a ragged breath. "You went through my shit, got Emma's number and gave it to Dad. Who by the way HAS NO REASON TO BE HERE!" he bellowed the last part.

Rachel winced at the loudness of his voice and jumped.

"I just called to let him know what happened Jay! I didn't fucking twist his arm to get him to come down here! And he wanted to meet Emma because I told him about her. Big fucking deal, get over yourself already."

Jay whirled around and stormed off towards his bedroom and slammed the door. He looked around helplessly for a minute before his eyes landed on a duffel bag. Bingo.

"What are you doing?" Rachel's voice came from the doorway.

"None of your god damn business," he snapped back at her.

She sighed. "God Jay, get over it. Maybe for once Dad took an interest in our lives. Is that a crime?" She went silent for a minute and surveyed the scene. "You're running away." There was no room for question in her statement.

He looked her directly in the face to let her know there was no way he was going to be talked out of his decision. "Why not?"

"Umm…well let's see…oh I know! You have a pregnant girlfriend. Now maybe…just maybe you should be the good guy for once-"

"Are you gonna move or do I have to physically move you myself?" he asked straightening up and heading towards the door that she was still standing in.

Rachel just sighed and dropped her gaze. "Just listen to me for a minute ok? No bullshit. You need to stay here for Emma. She's pregnant with your kid Jay! How are just going to get up and leave her like that?"

When she looked back up at him, all she saw were his cold, unfeeling eyes and slowly moved out of the doorway.

He got in the car without saying a word and peeled off towards Emma's house.

* * *

"Did I not tell you that he would be pissed? Did I not tell you not to go? And are you seriously wondering why he's not picking up his phone?" Manny fired at Emma as she paced the room.

Emma had her head down on her computer desk, trying in vain to block out the sounds of Manny shooting questions at her. "Manny! Stop it ok? I know it was a mistake now! I'm not stupid ok? Stop with the damn inquisition over there!"

Manny stopped and flopped on her bed in silence for a moment. "Well what are you going to do?" she asked quietly.

Emma sighed and shrugged helplessly. "I have no idea. For all I know he could have skipped town…"

"Over his father? That's a little…"

"Irrational?"

Manny just nodded.

"That's Jay though. Doesn't think…just does," she said looking at her stomach.

"I thought you liked that," a deep voice came from behind her.

Emma whirled around in the chair and stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged. "I'm not staying here. Not with that fucking fuck here," he said looking away.

"So…"

He looked back at Emma, straight in the eyes. "Come with me."

"What!" the two girls sat up straight and looked at him like he lost his head.

"Come with me!" he repeated.

Emma shook her head. "Jay…I can't. I can't…just go with you," she said gesturing with her hands to emphasize her point.

"Why not?"

"Because I have responsibilities here! I have school…I have home…I have…" she trailed off.

Jay was quiet for a minute, looking at her. Manny was looking back and forth between them and thought for a second before she spoke up.

"Jay…I mean I had my doubts about you at first. But you're really an ok guy. And I mean you have my blessings and all with my best friend…but she can't just pick up and leave," she finished slowly. "I mean she has a life here…"

Jay looked at his girlfriend and then looked at the floor and swallowed.

"Emma…" When he finally spoke there was a note of desperation in his voice and it made Emma raise her eyebrows. She had never in her life heard Jay Hogart use that tone with her. That tone that was next to pleading…

"I can't," she said finally, not looking at him. If she looked at him, she knew there was a chance she would act out and do something weird…like take off with her boyfriend.

He nodded silently and kissed her quickly yet with feeling. "I never said I didn't love you," he mumbled as he left just as quick as he came in.

"Wait a minute what?" she asked confused.

"What he say?" Manny asked softly from the bed.

"That…he never said he didn't love me….."Emma replied still lost.

"But did he ever tell you-"

"No!"

"So do you think…"

Emma looked at her empty window and smiled sadly. "I think he just told me that he loves me."


	13. Who Knew?

Chapter 13- Who knew?

Jay Hogart wasn't a person that strolled. He walked, walked faster or just didn't care. But here he was, strolling along the sidewalk in California. He had went a lot of places after he skipped town. The fact that Emma said she wouldn't go with him, haunted him wherever he went in Canada, knowing that she was so close yet so far. So he packed up and headed for the states. He had been here for about two months now. Found the first garage that needed help and got a job. Took another three weeks before he could move out of his car and into a building but he did it. And now here he was, 4 pm and strolling along the sidewalk next to the beach. The atmosphere made him think of Sean and a smile briefly crossed his face. It had taken the better part of a year but they finally were ok with each other. Sean had picked up and left for Wasaga, this time for good. And now Jay finally knew what he was talking about when he babbled on about the waves and the feeling in the air bullshit. Things were finally going good for him. He got along with his roommates, had enough money for food and hell he even quit smoking for the most part. He sat down on a bench and drank the rest of his Coke before throwing the can in the garbage next to him. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back, giving off the appearance that he was sleeping. His mind drifted to Emma and a frown started to form on his face. She would love it here. She would have been trying to get him in the ocean and go swimming. Or else building some ridiculous sand castle. He sighed. She was due soon. He had last talked to her about a week ago and they kept their conversation light. He inquired about Sam and she said things were looking good. She wasn't dating anyone else (he had asked) and she said no (and that he knew why). He loved her. No doubt in his mind about that. But coming to the states was what he needed. He would go back to Canada, if nothing else, for her and Sam. But not at this moment in time. Right now, this was where he needed to be.

* * *

"No JT, you can not come!"

The shaggy haired boy looked at Manny with his chin stuck out indignantly. "Why not? She's as much my best friend as she is yours!"

Manny sighed and looked at him like he was stupid. "First off, I didn't kiss her and trash her boyfriend in front of her-"

"Ex-boyfriend," he mumbled. He had hoped she had forgotten about that one. He hated that Jay had wiggled his way into Emma's life. She deserved better than that, better than him. But eventually over time he accepted that Emma was happy with him. However, he still didn't like Jay. And the fact that he ran out so close to Emma's due date was something that just irked him entirely.

"Whatever. The point is that it's a baby shower! And your favorite game, guess the weight of the pregnant lady, is not welcome here!"

"That is not my favorite game!" he exclaimed hurt.

Manny just raised an eyebrow at him.

"Anyone with half a brain knows it's how many cupcakes can the fat lady eat," he replied jokingly.

"Riiight….and this why you're not coming," Manny replied as she shut the door on him.

"I would let her win!" he hollered through the door.

Emma came up the stairs slowly and waddled to the front door where Manny was rolling her eyes.

"Should I ask what's going on?" she asked.

"Nope," Manny said simply.

Emma squinted her eyes and looked at her best friend and the door through which she could hear JT grumbling.

"Ok," she said throwing her hands in the air and walking away.

"Smart girl," her mother remarked.

Emma looked at her mom and smiled. "God. I can't believe that I'm actually due in like a month! I mean so much has happened…." She trailed off.

"Honey I couldn't be more proud of you," Spike said smoothing her daughters hair down gently. "You handled this so well, much more maturely than I did when I was your age."

"Yeah," she sighed. "I still can't believe I let it happen. I mean I always said I wouldn't be one of those girls you know? No offense Mom," she smiled in her mom's direction.

"You didn't plan on this hun. And I didn't plan on you. But look at how great my life is now. I have a great daughter who knows what she wants out life, she's sweet, she's funny…"

"Mom I get it. I'm only the best thing that ever happened to you," she said jokingly.

"Yes. You are," Spike replied firmly. "And I believe that you'll feel the same about Samantha."

Emma smiled and then it was erased just as quick as it came. "I just wish…." She sighed. "I wish that Jay was here for this too you know? That he could be here to see his daughter…." She shrugged. "His loss right?"

Ellie sat down next to her friend and put an arm around her shoulders. "I know Jay, Emma. He loves you. We all know that. But he couldn't stay here…he would have gone insane. He needed to do this for him. He'll come back for you and for Sam. I know he will," she said confidently.

"But why couldn't he stay here for me?" Emma whispered dangerously close to tears.

Ellie just looked at her friend and wished she had an answer for her. Instead she folded her into a hug and just sat with her.

"Alright! Baby showers are happy people, happy!" Paige commented as she walked into the room.

Emma smiled and wiped at her cheeks and looked up. "Hey Paige."

"Hello beautiful!" Paige said, awfully chipper.

"Ok, is she on crack?" Emma whispered to Ellie.

"No…I think she's on this happy kick or something…."

Emma rolled her eyes and turned back to the cheerleader. "This is so exciting. I mean Emma, you have to let me baby sit ok?"

"Yeah…whatever you want…."

Two hours later, it was present time. Emma grabbed a pretty pink box wrapped with a silver bow and Manny got this devilish smile on her face.

"I changed my mind…I don't want this one," Emma joked, as she put it back down.

"Oh just open it!" Manny cried as Emma's phone rang. "Hello?" Manny answered it.

"Oh my God! Manny!" Emma yelled in the background as she picked up a lacy dark purple teddy and everyone cracked up, including her mother.

Manny just grinned and passed the phone to her.

"Hello?" she asked laughing. "Jay! Hi! Oh my God you will not believe what Manny just gave me! A purple teddy. No, not a bear you moron!" she laughed. "A nightgown!" She laughed again and pulled the phone away from here ear. "Manny, Jay said he's going to buy you a big present when he gets back for getting him a great present."

* * *

Jay grinned from ear to ear as he listened to Emma crack up on the other end of the phone. He decided to call her on whim and apparently caught her in the middle of the baby shower.

"Hey, I'll let you go alright?" he said after a minute.

"I'll call you later?" Emma asked. God, he could still hear the smile in her voice.

"Yeah. Now be good…and take pictures with that nightgown on. I want to see it," he grinned.

"Shut up," she laughed. "I love you," as soon as she said it, she went quite and he could tell it had just slipped out. Something that she felt, but hadn't meant to say.

He smiled softly. "I love you too Emma," he replied. He had never just come straight out and told her that. But it occurred to him that he did. And once he realized that, it just came out effortlessly.

"What?" she asked on the other end. He knew she head heard him…there was a note of disbelief in her voice and he knew it was because he never said it before.

"You heard me."

"One more time," she replied half teasingly, half serious.

He sighed and rolled his eyes but did so with a smile on his face. "I love you. You know I do."

"Yeah I know, but you never said it until now," she said simply.

"Well now I did. Call me later…and bye everyone," he said.

A chorus of laughs followed. "Bye Jay!" about 10 girls responded.

He laughed as he hung up the phone. He knew she put him on speakerphone. Especially when he said he loved her.

* * *

"You're going back?" Dan asked skeptically that night as they watched a game of basketball on TV.

Jay took a gulp of his Bud and shrugged his shoulders. "Why not man? I mean I love her. Should be enough."

Dan just laughed and shook his head. "Yeah, that's great. But you loved her when I met you too. So why now all the sudden?"

"She's pregnant," Jay said flatly.

Dan's eyebrows raised noticeably. "Oh! Well….now I guess that's different. How far along is she?"

Jay finished the rest of his beer and set it down on the table before looking his roommate in the eye. "Eight months."

Dan coughed on the liquid he had in his mouth when he heard that. "Are you shitting me! She's been pregnant this entire time? Why the fuck didn't you say something?"

He looked away and shrugged, taking his hat off his head and toying with it.

"Let me ask you this Jay; if she was pregnant when you came here, and you loved here when you came here…..why go back? Did something miraculous happen?"

Jay grew quiet at that. "It just feels right. It feels like it's time to go back," he said.

"Who the fuck are you, my sister? She says that shit and she's 15. Seriously man, think about this!"

He just rolled his eyes as he got up and threw down his hat and grabbed his phone.

"Don't tell her! Because then she'll think you really are coming! Dude-Jay!" Dan shouted at his friends retreating back. "God that boy needs some help, "he muttered as he pulled a long gulp from his own bottle of brew.

"Hey guys, it's Emma! Do your thing at the beep," the voice said as a beep sounded. Jay just sighed but didn't hang up the phone. He had no idea of what to say. Ideally he wanted to tell her that he was coming back…but he couldn't just talk to himself about it on an answering machine. He was over by his stereo when an idea came to him. He quickly grabbed a CD and let the words flow from the speakers into the phone.

_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
__With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
__And all I see is you  
__These city walls ain't got no love for me  
__I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
__And oh I scream for you  
__Come please I'm callin'  
__And all I need from you  
__Hurry I'm fallin'_

_Show me what it's like  
__To be the last one standing  
__And teach me wrong from right  
__And I'll show you what I can be  
__Say it for me  
__Say it to me  
__And I'll leave this life behind me  
__Say it if it's worth saving me_

"Emma, it's Jay. Call me back as soon as you get this babe k?" he said as he hung up. It was cheesy and something unlike him to do…but he didn't care. Rachel was right all those months ago. He should have stayed and did the right thing by being there for Emma and Sam instead of running off. Now he only hoped it wasn't too late to fix the shit that he'd done.


	14. Now?

Chapter 14- Now?

Emma smiled when she heard the song on her voicemail. He was coming back. He didn't have to say it, the song did it for him. He needed a reason to try and she was that reason, she wasn't stupid. She in turn rifled through her own CD's until she found the right one and fast forwarded to certain part of the song while she called Jay back.

"Hello?" he answered after a ring or two. There was a lot of noise in the background and she hesitated.

"Jay?"

"Emma! Hey, how are you?"

"Are…are you drunk?" she looked down.

He was silent for a minute. "No I'm not. I'm at a party but I'm not drunk, hell I just got here not too long ago. Haven't had a drink yet."

She nodded, even though he couldn't see her. "Oh. Well…never mind then," she said softly and went to hang up the phone.

"Wait!" his voice yelled out to her and she put the phone back up to her ear. "Hang on," he said as the voices grew quieter until there were none.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly.

"I got your message," she said equally quiet.

"Yeah I wanted to tell you that-"

"And I've thought about it," she broke in.

Jay went quiet waiting for her to continue. "And…."

"And I'm not sure I want you to come back."

They both went silent. What was she saying? Right before she called him she was so happy that he was coming back…now she was telling him no? She closed her eyes and cursed herself as she drew a shaky breath.

"Why not?"

She let out the breath she was holding. "You're happy there and by you coming back, you'd be giving it all up. And you wouldn't be happy here."

"Emma. I want to come back. I never should have walked out to begin with."

"Yeah but you did. And you started over and did good for yourself. You're happy there. I love you, I always will Jay. But I want you to be happy. And you're happy there; not here."

He sighed but didn't say anything.

"Bye Jay," she whispered.

He opened his mouth to talk but there was no one there. She had hung up. He sat there and stared at the phone for a minute…she didn't want him to come back? She told him not to be there for her and their daughter. He clenched his jaw and threw the phone against the wall. Fine. She didn't want him there…he wouldn't go. Fuck that, why would he go back there for a person that obviously didn't want him?

* * *

"Emma?" an alarmed voice said as footsteps sounded near her bed. She raised her tearstained face and looked up at Manny's face.

"I told him to stay there," she said between sobs.

"What? Hun, what are you talking about? Is everything ok? Is it Sam?"

Emma cracked a smile as her best friend fired questions at her, frightened that something that had happened to her child.

"Jay."

"Oh," Manny visibly relaxed as she sat down on the bed next to her friend. "What are you talking about? Told him to stay?"

Emma wordlessly handed her the phone and let Manny listen to the message.

"Alright, now I'm lost. You told him not to come back? Did you hear the message Em? He loves you, he wants to come back for you and you told him no?" she now fired questions in disbelief.

"Manny he doesn't want to come back! He wants to come back for me! That's all. I don't want to be the cause of him being unhappy again!" she cried as she laid her head back down on the bed.

"Baby…" Manny tried comforting her, soothing her hair, but all Emma could do was cry.

* * *

"So Emma…how is the little one coming along?" JT asked the next day as they walked to school.

Emma sighed. "She's fine JT. Kicking like a soccer player."

JT just grinned and rubbed her stomach as she swatted his hand away.

He cleared his throat. "And uh…is Jay…" he left the question open but it was obvious what it was.

Emma grew silent and looked at the ground. "I told him not too. He was going to," she said softly.

Her friend stopped when he heard that and she looked back at him. He drew her into a hug.

"JT! What are you-"

"I'm sorry," was all he whispered and she understood completely.

She nodded while sniffling. "Just don't let Liberty say anymore shit to me or I swear to God…"

He shook his head. "I'll take care of her."

"Good."

He smiled sadly and kissed the top of her head before moving on to school again.

"Hey," Ellie said as she came up on Emma's locker ten minutes later.

"What's up?"

Ellie shook her head. "Not too much. So I hea-"

"Does the entire fucking school know or what?" Emma asked exasperated as she slammed her locker shut and closed her eyes against as she leaned against it.

"I told her," Manny's voice came.

The blonde visibly relaxed. "Oh…"

"I just wanted to say I was sorry. I mean I kinda know how it feels, you know?" she said throwing back to the time when her and Sean were still going out and he left for Wasaga. The only difference is that Sean came back after four months and picked right back up with Ellie. And Jay wasn't Sean.

"Can we talk about something happier?" Emma begged. "If one more person says that they're sorry to me, I'll make them sorry," she threatened.

"Oh really?" Manny raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah…belly bumping is a bitch," Emma laughed.

Ellie playfully pinched Emma's cheeks. "Oh look at you…turning our little Samantha into a mosher already….Auntie Ellie is so proud!"

The two girls just deadpanned Ellie and the red head just smiled. "Hey, you never know! I would like for you all to remember who the father is ok?" she said as the three of them made their way to the classroom as the bell rang.

"Not a chance in hell," Emma laughed.

The three friends stepped foot into the classroom and Emma physically smacked her forehead. "Damn it. I forgot a book. I'll be right back."

"Kwan's gonna kill you…." Manny mocked.

Emma stuck out her tongue and made a face as she turned around. She made her way back to her locker as fast as she could, which wasn't very fast at all, as all the doors began closing in the hallway. Emma took notice and shrugged as she slowed down.

"Oh my God, is little Emma Nelson breaking the rules?" a nasty voice said from behind her.

"Alex, go away."

"But I just love these little chats that we have!"

"Tough shit," Emma said turning around.

"Oooo…did Emmy get a backbone?"

The blonde just stared and sighed. "You know what? You're not worth it," she said turning back around.

"Really?" the other girls asked as Emma doubled over in pain. "Oh come on, I didn't even fucking touch you," she said rolling her eyes.

"Alex," Emma panted in pain.

She narrowed her eyes and moved closer. "What?" she snapped. "Oh my God…" she started as she noticed that her feet in making a squishy sounding noise.

"My water broke."

Alex just blinked really fast, unsure of what to do. "Umm…."

"Go get someone! And please Alex…call Jay. Just do one nice thing for me in my life….please? Just call him," Emma begged as she stood against a locker.

"Yeah….I think I can do that," she said as she started to run away.

* * *

"What?" Jay's groggy voice croaked out as he looked at the clock. 8 am. And he had no clue of what happened last night…or how he got home. He was waaay to drunk to be woken up at 8 in the god damn morning. Great…and who the hell was the red head in bed with him?

"Jay!" Alex yelled out.

"Alex, it's 8 in the fucking morning. And why the hell are you yelling at me?" he yelled back.

She stopped. "Please do not tell me you are drunk right now Jayson," she said seriously.

"So what if I am? And don't call me that! You only do that when you're pissed off," he said sliding back down in bed, mumbling.

"Because I am! You're drunk…and Emma's water just broke at school."

"Water broke? What the fuck? It's too early for this shit," he said going to hang up the phone.

"She's going into labor Jay. I suggest you find a way to get your fucking ass back here real quick so you can see the birth of your daughter," Alex snapped as she hung up. Jay sat straight up in bed. Emma was going into labor? Now? But she was still a couple of weeks away from having it….he sighed as he ran a hand over his face. First thing he had to was sober up. Even though Alex just did a damn good job of that, he was still drunk. And then he had to find the fastest way to get from California to Toronto. That….was just not going to happen.

* * *

Emma made a face at the searing pain that ripped through her. So this would be the contractions that people talked about. All she wanted right then was someone to sit with her so she could hold their hand…even if it was Alex Nunez.

"Emma…are you alright?" she asked as she came back around the corner.

She nodded, not speaking. "Did you…?"

"Yeah, I called Jay and I told Kwan," she said as she tried to ease Emma onto the floor.

"Thank you Alex," she whispered as tears started to form.

"Jesus, if you cry…I think I'll seriously regret helping you out here," she joked.

Emma laughed a strained laugh. "I'm having a baby! I can't believe it…."

Alex just sighed. "Yeah, you're having a baby," she replied. She could see that Emma was happy, it was just that much harder for Alex to attempt to be a bitch to her. Shit, this was even making her happy. Had to stop…this just had to stop.

"What's going on?" Ellie skidded around the corner, Manny on her heels.

"OH MY GOD!" Manny shrieked. "Are you serious? Now?"

"Oh it's now Santos," Alex spoke up.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Manny fired back at Alex.

"She's helping me! And don't ruin it, because we'll never get along ever again!" Emma yelled as Mrs. Kwan and the rest class came running around the corner.

Alex just laughed as Emma yelled that and nodded. "She's right."

"Alright everyone, I need you to back up and give her some room. Emma, I called the hospital and they're sending out an ambulance for you alright?"

Emma just nodded.

"I'm going with her," Manny said automatically as Emma nodded her head. Ellie handed her her cellphone.

"What's this for?"

"Jay's gonna call me. I know he will," she said simply.

Manny just nodded and rushed forward as the sirens were heard outside.

Emma let go of Alex's hand and took hold of Manny's. "Thank you Alex," she whispered gratefully.

Alex managed a small smile. "Go have your kid Nelson," she said with no hate in her voice what so ever. The two girls shared a rare smile that would probably never happen again as the paramedics rushed in. Manny tossed Ellie her phone and Ellie sent her questionable glance.

"I'll call you!"

Ellie went and stood next to Alex who was on the phone, as her best friend was wheeled off.

"What? What do you mean you can't? No….you're coming. We'll find a way. Ellie's going to help me. Why? Because this is the only thing in my life that I'll do for Emma Nelson." Alex went quiet then. "Because you love her," she said quietly. "That's why I'm doing this," she said as she hung up.

"So…"

Alex shook her head. "Jay said he can't find a way up here."

Ellie shook her head. "No…he's coming. Trust me," she said as she started to walk off. "Are you coming?"

Alex just shook her head. "I've done enough nice things today. Let's just double them because it was for Emma, who I hate. I feel weird enough already…"

Ellie just smiled a sad smile at her once best friend.

Alex shook her head as if to rid herself of the 'nice-ness'. "Ugh….enough! Go get that boy on a plane!"


	15. Information and vertigo

Chapter 15- Information and Vertigo

"Ellie? Aren't you supposed to be in school?" Spike greeted her daughters redheaded friend. One of the woman in the beauty chairs clucked her tongue at this, the sight of a young girl just throwing education down the tubes to wander around the town.

"Spike…Emma's gone into labor, " Ellie gasped for breath after running there.

Spike dropped the bowl of highlighting formula she was using, much to the customers dismay.

"Excuse me?" she asked rudely.

Spike in turn looked at the woman. "Jenny will have to finish you up, I have to go."

"Who is Jenny and where is she? I don't see anyone named Jenny here…only you," the woman persisted.

"Hey lady, her daughter just went into labor. So you can complain all you want, or you can sit there and hang out for a couple of minutes for Jenny, who I'm sure is on her way. Either way, Spike is leaving," Ellie said firmly.

The woman's mouth opened to say something else but at the exact moment in time a young girl breezed through the door.

"Go Spike!" she urged as she walked over to the woman. "I have it from here."

Spike let out a breath she didn't realize she has been holding and rushed out the door with Ellie.

"Where is she? Tell me she's not at Degrassi," she urged with her eyes shut as if she didn't want to think about that.

"Oh no, Alex actually found her and took care of it. She's at the hospital with Manny."

"And dare I ask about the father of the child?"

Ellie sighed. "Oh he knows, he was woke up this morning."

"And…"

"He's trying Spike," Ellie said softly.

* * *

Jay sat there with his head in his hands. He had no way of getting to Emma, no way of seeing his daughter being born. He sighed and sat back on the couch and took off his hat and threw it across the room in frustration.

"What's going on?" a sleepy looking Dan asked as he came out of the room.

Jay sighed. "Emma's going into labor," he said, his voice barely audible.

"So go up there," Dan said in a duh voice.

"And how do you propose I do that? Rob a bank?" Jay asked sarcastically.

Dan cracked a smile. "Yeah that'd be great. Standing in line, 'Excuse me sir, how do you spell shoot you in the fucking face?' "

Jay snorted as his phone rang. "Asshole."

"Your love for me is overwhelming. But I'm sorry I'm not gay like you," Dan replied as he picked up his hat and threw it back at his friend.

"Hello?" Jay asked tiredly.

"Jayson."

Jay froze. "Dad…"

"Go to the airport."

Jay was silent. "What the hell are you doing?" he finally asked.

"Making it so you can go see the woman you love and your daughter."

"Dad-"

"I'm not doing this to make you like me Jayson. You need to be there."

His voice caught in his throat. "How did you know?"

His dad actually laughed. "Emma actually called me and begged me to help. She said that I was the only way you could come up. And if you couldn't be there, she wasn't having that baby."

"Emma called you?"

"Don't be mad at her son. She was doing what she thought she needed to do. Besides, this is my grandchild. Now go to the airport. I did everything I could."

Jay just sat there in disbelief. The very man he wanted nothing to do with, that he thought ruined his childhood…was moving heaven and earth for him.

"I don't…know…" he trailed off, his eyes actually becoming clouded with tears.

"I know. I know Jay," his dad said softly, using his nickname for the first time.

"Thank you," Jay finally got out, unable to say anything else.

They hung up a few minutes later and he sat back in disbelief. He never took anything from him before. In fact, he always swore he would rather die than take anything from the man that thought he was better than them. So why was he now ready to take this from him? And for the love of God, why the fuck was he crying!

"Okay…maybe you need moment?" Dan said jokingly as he came back in the room with a bowl of cereal to see his roommate crying.

"Shut the fuck up. And get dressed. We're going to the airport," he said getting up to pack a bag.

"Can I eat first?"

"No."

* * *

"Emma!"

"Hi Mom," Emma said, smiling as she laid in her bed.

"How are you feeling baby?" she asked as she smoothed her hair back.

Emma sighed. "I guess I'm alright. The nurse said I still have a long way to go. So apparently I can't just get it over with."

Spike just laughed. "Oh honey I wish it was that easy. I was in labor with you for 10 hours."

"Oh Lord please not that," Emma moaned.

"Any word?" Ellie asked.

Emma nodded. "I actually called his father. I told him what happened and I threatened not to have this child until he's here," she giggled.

"You called his father?" Ellie asked in disbelief.

The blonde just shrugged. "Last option. I knew he would help. It is his grandchild after all."

"So he's coming after all?" Spike asked. "Well do we know when he comes in?"

Emma rolled her eyes and sighed. "Tonight at like 5:30. By the way… I feel like I should thank Alex or something. I mean if it wasn't for her…"

Ellie shook her head. "She would hate you more if you reminded her she was nice to you. Although I will admit, it was odd that she was the one that had to take care of you…."

"Well now I can't say she never did anything nice for me."

* * *

"You're at hospital, in labor and you never thought of calling me? Are you shitting me?" JT demanded, somewhat pissed off.

"Well I've been here since like 8 am…." Emma trailed off, bracing herself for the angry outburst that was bound to come. Instead all she got was dial tone. She took the phone away from her ear and looked at it and made a face.

"What happened?"

"He hung up on me!"

"Well it is like three o'clock…" Manny pointed out.

"Wait a minute…schools out now?" Ellie asked looking up from her Cosmo. "You know everyone and their mom is going to coming here right?"

Sure enough, they started to hear an argument in the waiting room.

"Why did you bring me here again? I mean if Emma wants to have this child and keep it…that's her thing. I don't want any part in it. I still say it's wrong in the first place."

"You know what else is wrong Liberty?" a pissed off JT asked.

"What?" she replied sounding bored.

"The fact that she is one of your oldest friends and you are just being a bitch to her! The least you could do is fucking support her! Oh and…this relationship thing….it's gotta stop," he said as an afterthought.

Manny was in the room laughing as Ellie rolled her eyes. "Mom do you think he could get in here?"

"You can't have everyone in here Em."

"Yeah I know. But Ellie and Manny came in here with me and you. Plus you know he would never, and I do mean NEVER forgive me."

Spike sighed and went out the waiting room.

"Sir I'm sorry. Visiting hours aren't open right now. Family only," the nurse was saying.

"It's alright ma'am. He's my son," Spike replied as she JT walked into the room.

"Alright, they're here before me?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"I came with her in the ambulance and Ellie came with Spike. So yes…we're here before you. Now sit down and be thankful you just became her brother, otherwise you'd still be outside in the waiting room with the bitch of the century. By the way, kudos for dumping her," Manny said as she went back to channel surfing.

JT just rolled his eyes as he kissed Emma on the cheek. "So you ready for this?"

"Does it look like I'm ready for this?" she shot back.

"Well apparently you didn't get a sense of humor…"

"Right because if I was going to get one thing out of pregnancy, it wouldn't be a child; it'd be a sense of humor," she said rolling her eyes.

JT turned to Ellie. "When did she turn into you?"

Ellie grinned and shrugged. "I'm quite proud actually."

"You would be," he snorted.

"Oh God," Emma gasped.

"Another one?"

She just nodded as her face screwed up in pain.

"That wasn't that long…what like a hour apart or something?"

"I am not having this baby for another two hours!" Emma yelled out.

"Should I ask…or this is just an Emma thing?" JT asked the room at large.

"Jay's coming in at like 5:30," Ellie said shortly.

"Oh how nice."

Emma gave her friend a look. "JT…"

He raised his hands in mock surrender. "Fine…I'll play nice."

* * *

Jay fiddled with the tray on the seat in front of him. Just another hour and he'd be fine. He had somehow managed to forget his vertigo until actually boarding the plane that morning. But now here it was…and he was dying. Suddenly the plane dipped down and his stomach lurched. Why was the plane doing that? It can't be going down…he had to get to the hospital; he had to get to his girlfriend. _Oh God…it's going down. The one time I'm actually on a fucking plane and it's going to go down. This figures…Oh God…it did it again. Well this fucking blows… _he thought to himself as he exhaled and gripped the armrests.

"Ladies and gentlemen we have reached our destination early today…" that's all that he heard before he tuned out. So they weren't going down…they just got there early. Jay laughed a nervous laugh and attempted to stop his heart from beating out of his chest as he looked around convinced someone had seen him almost wet his pants but no one was paying him any attention to his relief.

"Hey, I'm early," he said ten minutes later as walked through the airport to get his stuff.

"Wait…early. Meaning now?"

"No meaning in five hours. Yeah now. What hospital, I'll take a cab," he said as he put the phone between his shoulder and his ear.

"Don't bother. We'll be there in twenty minutes."

"Ellie-"

All he got was a click. He sighed and rolled his eyes as he hung up. It would have been much easier for both of them if he just got a cab but count on a woman to be difficult.

* * *

A/N: well this is drawing toa close rather quickly. but it's not done yet! so review review! also, i did look up the price to go to Canada and the timing is actually pretty acurate, so no flames on the time frame not being true! lol. and if anyone can catch the dane cook reference i put in there...extra bonus points. hugs nikki


	16. Introducing

Chapter 16- Introducing…

"Emma, you have to go now!"

The blonde, in return, just grit her teeth and squeezed Manny's hand again.

"Alright, I know you're like in a lot of pain…but at the moment so am I!" she squeaked out.

"Honey, you can't wait any longer. We'll send Jay in when he gets here," Spike said as she attempted to have her daughter let go of her friends hand.

"Someone is coming into that room with me," Emma said with a pained breath.

"I'll go, now let go of Manny," Spike said as she disentangled the two of them.

Manny ran over to a nurse, cradling her hand. "Hi, you wouldn't have anything to like…make me feel my hand again would you? Anyone? Alrighty then…hope it doesn't FALL OFF," she said loudly hoping that someone would at least answer her then but all the nurses did was rush around and not give a second look at her.

"Is it really that bad? She's like what 110 pounds now that she's having kid," JT joked from a corner.

Manny turned and gave him an evil glare. "Oh you wanna go have your hand squeezed by the 110 pound pregnant lady? Be my guest bucko."

"When the father gets here is there a way we can switch me and him out?" Spike asked a nurse that was readying Emma for delivery.

The nurse made a face. "Well we generally frown on switching partners once someone is in the room…"

"He's coming in right now from California…it's the fastest he could get here," Spike continued.

The man just rolled his eyes. "Well as long as he finds someone to escort him to the room so we can switch people…I don't see a problem with it."

"Thank you so much!" Emma managed to get out.

"Any last words?" the nurse asked as he started to wheel mother and daughter and soon to be grand daughter to the OR.

"Why…she's not gonna die is she?" JT asked smartly.

Manny smacked him upside the head and rolled her eyes. "We'll be here waiting for you hun. Go have that kid!"

Emma smiled and then was rolled out.

* * *

"Jay! Can't you at least wait 'til I stop the car!" Ellie called out as she slowed down and Jay opened the door and started at a run to the hospital. The only thing Jay was concerned with at the moment however, was getting to Emma in enough time. 

"Sir! Can I help you?" a nurse called out as he burst through the door.

"My girlfriend….she's in labor…" he gasped for breath.

"What's her name?"

"Emma Nelson," he replied as he leaned against the wall to catch his breath.

"Okay, floor 3 room 11," he said with a smile.

Jay nodded his thanks as Ellie came in through the door.

"God you can't like I don't know…wait until I stop the car to get out can you?" she asked as she slapped him on the arm.

He rolled his eyes as he started for the elevators.  
"And I'm assuming you know where you're going," she called out after him.

"311!" was all he hollered back.

"Well what do you know Tin Man, he does have a brain," Ellie muttered under her breath.

Jay turned and gave her a dirty look and she feigned innocence. "What? I didn't say anything…"

"Where is she?" Jay asked automatically as he got to the room.

"Hello to you too," JT said sarcastically.

Jay cut his sharp blue eyes to the boy and opened his mouth to say something but Manny beat him to it.

"She's in the OR already. Find a nurse and you and Spike can switch."

Jay just nodded and started to head out of the room.

"Glad you could be here for at least something that involves your child," JT whispered.

"Hey! Penis pump boy! She's my girlfriend, my daughter. Not yours. Get the fuck over yourself because last time I checked…didn't she slap you when you kissed her?" Jay crossed his arms.

"I never kissed her," JT spat out.

Jay just laughed. "Oh okay. So Emma lied…right."

"You kissed her?" Ellie asked looking at JT like he was a dumb ass.

"Jay got her pregnant!"

The two girls shared a look and hit him over the head together.

"What? He did!"

* * *

"Where is he?" Emma yelled out as another contraction hit. 

"I'm sure he'll be here soon," Spike said again for the fifth time in a hour.

"Alright ladies, I believe the father to be arrived so we can switch your two out," a nurse said as he approached Spike.

"Oh thank God," Emma said in relief. "No offense Mom…"

Spike just smiled and kissed her daughter. "We'll all be waiting."

She passed Jay on the way in and just laid a hand on his arm and smiled at him and he nodded back, an understanding had finally come between them.

"Jay!" Emma yelled when she saw him.

"Hey baby," he said as he took her hand. "Christ! Emma…when the hell did you get strong?" he yelped.

"Two more centimeters and she'll be ready!" a nurse called out.

Emma looked up at Jay, her eyes shining. "We're having a baby," she whispered.

He just looked at her and nodded, a smile crossing his face. "Yeah…we are."

"CAN I GET THIS OUT OF ME NOW!" she suddenly screamed out.

Jay jumped back at that and just stared at her and then at the doctor as he came in the room.

"Is that normal?" Jay asked.

The doctor just chuckled. "Oh if you could hear the things that get screamed out during labor. And some of the folks have been married for years."

"Great…" Jay muttered.

The doctor made his way over to Emma and looked at her for a couple of seconds. "Alright Emma? You look ready to have your daughter; are you ready?"

A frightened look came over her face and she reached out in the air for Jay for comfort.

"You'll be fine. All you have to do is push when I say ok?"

"Jay!"

"Em…I'm right here," he spoke up.

"Where were you?"

He gave her a weird look. "I was right here. You were just squeezing my hand so hard that it probably turned to liquid so you couldn't feel it."

"I'm scared," she said softly.

"Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're gonna have this child and we'll all be together ok? All you have to do is push."

The doctor looked up at Jay. "Have you done this before?"

Jay just gave an awkward shrug. "Once or twice."

Emma's eyes popped at that and she stared at him. "If you plan on telling me about your other children…it would be a fucking fantastic time to do so!" she yelled at him.

"Emma! Before I even knew you I had other girls that were friends!" he said a little exasperated.

"And what? You fathered their children as well!"

"NO! Do we have to do this right now?" he asked. "In case you haven't noticed, you're giving to birth to my only child!"

"Yes we do have to do this right now! Because it's my only child…but apparently you've been down this road before!" she screamed at him.

He let out a sigh and looked up at the ceiling. "Fine! I had other friends that were girls before I met you that were older and their boyfriends were scumbags so I was the one that they trusted and wanted in the room with them because their boyfriends were off doing too many god damn drugs! Happy!"

She grew quiet. "Oh…"

"Yeah…oh," he mimicked her more than a little frustrated. "You really think I have other kids out there?"

"Alright Emma…I need you to push…now!"

"What?" she asked confused over the switch in conversation.

"PUSH!" the doctor yelled.

She gritted her teeth and pushed as she squeezed Jay's hand incredibly hard.

"Good, good. And again."

"HOW MANY MORE GOD DAMN TIMES DO I HAVE TO DO THIS?" she screamed out as she pushed again.

"You're doing good baby," he said attempting to switch out hands so he could gain the feeling back in his other one.

"Alright two more…"

Emma let out a pain laced scream and then collapsed back on the bed. "Is she out yet?"

"One more….NOW!"

She shook her head and looked up at Jay. "I can't do this…"

"Come on Emma, I need you to push once more for me..."

She closed her eyes and screamed the loudest of all but five seconds later a little cry was heard and she collapsed on the bed.

"How's she look?" she asked Jay.

"She's beautiful," he said softly.

"Dad, would you like to cut the cord?"

"Uhh…no I'm good," he said shaking his head.

The doctor just nodded understandably as he cut it himself. "Alright folks, let's just get this little girl here washed up and then you can hold your daughter."

"I can't believe I'm a dad…" Jay whispered.

"You'll be great. After all the stuff you went through with your dad…I know you'll be great," she smiled weakly.

Jay ran his hand through his hair. "I'm gonna stay here. I'm not going back to California. I wanna be here for you and…and for Sam," he said nodding.

Emma just nodded wordlessly. "I love you Jay," she whispered a couple of seconds later.

"I love you too," he said equally as soft.

* * *

"So….." Ellie jumped up as Jay came walking out into the waiting room. 

He grinned. "I'm a dad!"

Ellie grinned and jumped on him giving him a hug, which he reciprocated quite awkwardly until Ellie got off him. "Sorry…" She turned red and walked away.

"Forget that! I'm so glad you were able to be here for this Jay," Manny said softly as she walked up next to him.

"Yeah me too. And I'm staying."

"Good. Because I'd have to kick your ass you know. I know some scary people."

Jay just gave her a look. "Oh shit…you know them too. Well god damn it," she sighed as Jay just laughed.

He looked at Spike. "Would you like to hold your grand daughter?"

She raised her tear stained face to him and nodded. He turned around and walked back into the room to wait for Sam with Spike on his heels.

"And here she is. Dad, would you like to hold her?"

Jay took his daughter wordlessly and stared at her, staying silent for once.

"Jay?" Spike touched his arm.

"I…I actually don't know what to say…" he said softly and Spike just laughed.

"It's amazing isn't it? To hold your first child and think that you actually helped create it…" she said with a far away look in her eye. He looked at Spike and smiled and then turned to Emma.

"Hey, you wanna go to see your Mommy?" he asked softly to the little girl who fussing slightly.

Emma opened her eyes slightly and saw them. "She's gorgeous…" she said softly.

"Em…are you feeling ok?" her mom asked noticing how the girl looked tired and weak.

"I'm just so tired…" she said as she closed her eyes.

"Emma?" Jay sat gently on the side of her bed while giving Sam to Spike. "Are you ok?" he shook her arm. "She's probably just tired right? I mean she gave birth, that could be exhausting…." He said looking at Spike.

The woman hesitated and then answered after a beat. "Yeah…I'm sure that's what it is."

Jay just sighed and looked back at Emma and stroked her hair. Somehow he got the uncomfortable feeling that she wasn't just sleeping.

* * *

A/N: alright so i took Jay OOC in the chapter...so sue me. laughs in my head i always think that baby's change people...especially guys that think they're hardasses. they take one look at a baby, esp thiers, and they melt. and jay's melting. so ha!

AND COOKIES GO TO BlackRoseOnFire BECAUSE SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT CAUGHT MY DANE REFERENCE. D so that makes them doubly awesome b/c they love the dane as much as i do.

sadly however, i believe the next chapter will be the last one...either that or it's going to be the second of the last.


	17. Epilogue

Epilogue-

"What's going on? Is there something wrong with her?" Manny asked nervously as Jay and Spike came back into the waiting room looking less than happy.

"She just fell asleep. She's tired, I mean she just gave birth. She's allowed to sleep right?" Jay said in a tone that conveyed the fact he was trying to convince himself everything was okay.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's it," Ellie said as she came up beside him.

The group sank into the cluster of chairs and just waited silently. Every once in a while one of them would get up and pace around the room but other than that, it was silent. Finally, after what seemed like hours a doctor appeared.

"Mrs. Nelson?"

Jay and Spike both sprang up and walked over to him, waiting to hear the news that she was ok.

"I'm sorry, we did everything we could. She couldn't take the stress of childbirth…it was too hard on her body," he said as he laid a hand on both of their arms and then walked out of the room to give them time alone.

Jay turned and looked at the group in shocked silence. None of them knew what to do. The first one to make a sound was Spike and that was as she hit the floor sobbing. Next came Manny.

"Jay…Jay…"JT was shaking his arm.

Jay looked at the boy that was crying and didn't say anything.

"You okay man? You've been staring at the one spot for a half hour now…"

"She's…dead. Emma's gone…"he said quietly.

JT regarded Jay in the moment and felt no hate towards him what so ever. The pain on his face, the vulnerability that he was showing; it was more than clear about how he felt for Emma. Jay walked over to a chair and just sat there, a dazed look on his face. Slowly he took his hat off his head and just put his head in his hands. He didn't cry though, he felt as though he couldn't. He lost the woman he loved, but had gained a daughter. But he would be left to raise her alone, Emma wouldn't be there to help and be a mother to her. He wouldn't be able to do this alone, he was only eighteen!

"I can't do this," he said in a barely audible voice. "I can't do this," he said a minute later louder.

"What?" Ellie asked.

"I can't be a father! I'm eighteen! I can't do this on my own, I don't even know anything about kids…Emma was supposed to be here to help me. I mean Sam doesn't even have a mother now…what the fuck am I supposed to do?" he asked, his voice dropping to a whisper.

"You won't be alone Jay, you know that," Manny spoke up. "We'll all be here to help you raise her."

"Jay," Spike said from her chair. "I think it would be best if Sam stayed at home with me until you figure out how you'll be able to care for her."

Jay just closed his eyes and sank back in his chair. When he opened them, he realized he was finally crying.

* * *

"Mr. Hogart? We need a name for the birth certificate…" the nurse said that night as they were getting ready to finally leave.

Jay took a breath and didn't look at anyone. "Emma Michelle Nelson-Hogart."

He finally looked around as the nurse made a note and walked away.

"Emma?" Spike asked quietly.

"Well, we'll call her Michelle."

Spike nodded her head. "Thank you," she said as tears were clouding her vision.

"Oh God…no more crying!" JT moaned.

* * *

"You're doing the right thing you know," Ellie started on the ride home.

Jay shot her a look. "By letting her go home with Spike, letting her take care of Sa-Michelle," Ellie finished as she stared out the window.

"Well she's not gonna stay there that's for sure. I'm not going to end up like my father who only shows up once in a while. I'll be damned. She deserves better than that," he said as he lit up a cigarette.

"Which she?" Ellie asked jokingly as she looked at Jay for the first time since they got in the car.

"Both of them," he replied shortly.

"Well you'll do it then. Jay, you're a good person. A little fucked in the head at times, but you mean well. Sometimes," the redhead finished with a smile. "And I've known you for a while. And if there's one thing I know about you it's that when you say you're going to do something, do not get in your way."

Jay snorted. "Unless I can roll over you," he muttered.

"Exactly. So don't worry about this! Yeah it's going to be different but you'll be fine. And I know what you went through with your father and I know that you'd rather die before you turned out like that. I have faith," Ellie finished softly as she laid a hand on his arm gently.

Jay just blinked at the girl in the seat beside him. "Well…thanks for the speech and vote of confidence El. But when the fuck did you turn into Dr. Phil? Knock it off, you're scaring me," he said giving her a weird look.

"Oh I scare everyone. Surprised you still talk to me actually," Ellie joked back.

He scratched his chin at that. "Right, I've been meaning to talk to you about that…."

She just gasped a joking breath and hit him on the arm. "Fuck head! Drive your god damn car!" she laughed as he sped off towards Spike's house.

* * *

A/N: wow...i can't believe that this story is actually done. this is my baby and i want to thank you all for coming on this ride with me. i'll be posting the sequel "i will buy you a new life" shortly...i have two chapters already done in that one. thanks again for reviewing and sticking with me on this story! -love nic 


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